Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Bring Back Melanie!Melanie Martinez, a favorite in the Guigar household, has been fired by PBS for some videos she appreaded in seven years ago. Melanie is the nighttime host for PBS KIDS Sprout, a cable channel that plays kids shows. My son is enamored with her and, well, I think she’s cute as a darned button. Her delivery is engaging — she’s impossible not to watch. I look forward to her segments when my son is watching his before-bedtime-kids-show.
Martinez was fired when PBS learned of a couple 30-second videos —
this one and
this one — that she did for TechnicalVirgin.com, a safe-sex-spoof-site, several years earlier.
According for her
Wikipedia entry, the poor girl has even been removed from her alma mater’s list of distinguished alumni.
This is very sad news indeed. I understand that PBS has every right to protect their property, but I have such a hard time believing that these seven-year-old, 30-second spoofs seriously damage her ability to host a kids show. I think it was a bad move — and I’m not
alone. If you, too are the parent of a Sprout fan (and if you feel the same), tell them how disgusted you are. E-mail
[email protected] and tell them BRING BACK MELANIE!
