Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
The Wayans Brothers rip off Warner Brothers!
I just caught a
movie trailer that made me really sad about the state of creativity in America today. Shawn and Marlon Wayans have made a movie in which a 3-foot adult poses as a baby to advance his crime career. He arranges to have himself left on some stranger’s doorstep — in a basket — so he can lay low while the cops search for him and his stolen loot. The unsuspecting strangers welcome the abandoned baby into their home, setting the scene for countless madcap antics.
Midway through the trailer, I started to feel a little deja vu coming on… then, as the “baby” smoked a thick stogie while shaving his 5-o’clock shadow in the bathroom, it hit me.
I’ve already seen this! It was originally an animated Bugs Bunny short called
Baby Buggy Bunny. The trailer makes it look as if the movie is a scene-by-scene reshoot — with a little sex and violence thrown in to put butts in seats.
