Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
And on to my gripe for the day. It seems like a pretty standard announcement:
[ASSOCIATED PRESS:] The musical adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ holiday tale “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” will make its Broadway debut this fall at the Hilton Theatre, running from Nov. 8 until Jan. 7, 2007, according to a news release Monday. Previews of the show begin Oct. 25.
The widow of Dr. Seuss, whose real name was Theodor Geisel, will serve as an associate producer of the New York “Grinch” show. Geisel died in 1991. Read more. But read that last paragraph again: Geisel’s widow will be an associate producer; her husband died in 1991.
Y’see, while the good Doctor was
alive, he insisted that his characters not be used in marketing and merchandizing beyond the books. They lived very well off those books. There was plenty to go around on the books. Opening up the
Cat in the Hat and his other creations to licensing and merchandizing options would only serve to cheapen their meaningfulness. There was a couple expections — a few animated features done in collaboration with Chuck Jones, for example — but for the most part, Dr. Seuss was absolutely against using his characters towards any commercial uses such as cereal boxes, T-shirts, lunchboxes, toys, TV shows, movies, etc.
Six years after he dies, his wife, Audrey, opened the floodgates. We’ve seen a steady stream of Seuss-related crappola ever since: A couple of big-budget movie stinkers, a wide array of apparel, and countless goo-gags.
And now a Broadway flop-in-the-making.
Mrs. Seuss: You should be as ashamed, ashamed, ashamed as can be; to defile poor Teddy’s legacy.
