Chapter 17 | Page 13d: Performance Reviews

Today’s performance reviews didn’t just evaluate employee performance — they completely eliminated the need for Dr. Muskiday’s "inter-office orgy" plan. Turns out, nothing clears the emotional air quite like brutally honest feedback.


Upcoming Events

If you’ve ever thought about stopping by to say hello, these two events are genuinely special opportunities to do that.

Since I’m no longer doing the traditional comic-convention circuit, chances to meet up in person have become pretty rare — which makes days like the Moore College Comics Expo and the NCS Cartoonist Showcase all the more meaningful to me.

Philadelphia
Moore College Comics Expo
Saturday, April 11th
10 a.m. – 5 p.m.
https://moore.edu/events/2026-moore-comics-expo/2026-04-11/

Columbus, Ohio
Cartoonist Showcase — Billy Ireland Museum of Comic Art
Saturday, August 8th
1 p.m. – 6 p.m.
https://nationalcartoonists.com/showcase/

I always enjoy putting faces to names, chatting about comics, and hearing what you’ve been reading (or creating). So if you’re anywhere nearby, I’d love to see you there.

And who knows — with travel getting trickier these days, these kinds of appearances may end up being even fewer and farther between… which makes this a pretty great time to take advantage of one.


Transcript

Panel 1:

Cassie Cruz: “The clouds are disappearing! But how?!”

Giant Tess: “Heh.”

Giant Tess: “Since everybody was standing around, I decided to make good use of the time by handing out the annual performance reviews.” 

Panel 2:

Giant Tess: “Believe it or not, I actually softened the wording from last year.” In the office, all of the co-workers are furious, (clockwise from upper left: Miss Match, Count Spurlock, Psy-Chick, Lightning Lady, Iron Dragon, Desdemona, Holo-Clone Miss Match, and Catnip).

Detailed Alt Text

Panel 1:
Dr. Muskiday (a small, fly-like scientist with wings and large red eyes) hovers near Cassie Cruz, the branch manager, who is walking briskly into the office. Cassie looks surprised and says, “The clouds are disappearing! But how?!” Standing nearby is Giant Tess, a tall, muscular woman in a green superhero outfit with a cape and a large “G” emblem on her chest. She calmly holds a stack of papers and explains, “Heh… Since everybody was standing around, I decided to make good use of the time by handing out the annual performance reviews.”

Panel 2:
The scene cuts to the open office floor in complete chaos. Employees are reacting violently and emotionally to their performance reviews (clockwise from upper left: Miss Match, Count Spurlock, Psy-Chick, Lightning Lady, Iron Dragon, Desdemona, Holo-Clone Miss Match, and Catnip). MIss Match is surrounded by flames, Psy-Chick is shouting angrily, Lightning Lady is generating crackling energy around her hands, and others are arguing or throwing things. Papers are scattered everywhere, chairs are overturned, and computer monitors are damaged. Despite the destruction, Giant Tess stands calmly in the foreground, still holding her papers, and says, “Believe it or not, I actually softened the wording from last year.” Cassie stands beside her, taking in the mayhem.

Phables — The Curse of Rafinesque

Here’s a special Phables* comic I did back in 2006, that I love to share every Halloween.

It’s the (mostly) true story about a botanist who taught at Transylvania University in Kentucky (the place really exists). When he was caught with the college president’s wife, he was ousted from campus. Upon leaving, he placed a curse on the institution, and, supposedly, every seven years, something tragic happens at Transylvania University. The last “Curse Year”, by the way, was 2018, so we’re due in just two more years.

Transcript

[Panel 1]
Text: “Everybody has a scary story about Philadelphia…”
Image: Illustration of a city with a label pointing to “Transylvania University.”

[Panel 2]
Text: “The best ones are true.”
Narration: “Constantine Rafinesque was a self-taught genius with a passion for botany.”
Character (Rafinesque): “Mostly.”

[Panel 3]
Narration: “He left Philadelphia to teach botany at Transylvania University in Kentucky, but ended up cutting classes more often than his students.”
Student: “Anyone got a smoke?”
Rafinesque: “sigh You don’t have to raise your hands.”

[Panel 4]
Narration: “School president Horace Holly fired Rafinesque after the botanist’s alleged affair… with Mrs. Holly.”
Mrs. Holly (offscreen): “Oh Raf! You pistol. Such stamina!”
Rafinesque: (examining plant under microscope) “OK… Stay calm… Dioscorea pubescens… Podocarpus rubicollis… Cacalia’s protective…”

[Panel 5]
Narration: “Upon leaving, Raf uttered a curse: ‘Damn thee and thy school! A plague and curses upon you!’**
(**And probably a couple more we can’t print.)”
Image: Rafinesque shaking fist.

[Panel 6]
Narration: “He returned to Philly where he supported himself by publishing books and scientific articles on nature. He even gave public lectures on the subject.”

[Panel 7]
Narration: “He died in 1840 and was buried in Ronaldson’s Cemetery in Philly.
(At least, they thought he was buried in Ronaldson’s…)”

[Panel 8]
Narration: “Legend has it, a group of rowdy Transylvania University alumni disinterred Rafinesque’s body and returned it to the campus.”
Image: Shadowy figures carrying a coffin at night.

[Panel 9]
Narration: “Actually, it was a rowdy librarian who, upon learning of Raf’s demise, wrote his Philadelphia benefactors and suggested he be transplanted at the campus in a place of honor.”
Librarian: “That is so rowdy for a librarian.”
Another character: “Shhh!!”

[Panel 10]
Narration: “And so Raf’s body was placed under the steps of the Old Morrison, the school’s administrative building.”
Image: Drawing of the Old Morrison building.

[Panel 11]
Narration: “Evidence suggests the body honored in the tomb below the Old Morrison is that of a female.”
Another character: “My old upstairs neighbor… used to keep me awake at night playing those ‘Velvet Underground’ records…”

[Panel 12]
Narration: “So… Rafinesque’s body remained in the cemetery where it once stood is now a playground in South Philly.”
Image: Child bouncing a ball next to a tombstone.

[Panel 13]
Narration: “No one can say where his spirit is. His curse, however, seems to be at Transylvania University, y’see… Soon after he lost his job, the Old Morrison burned to the ground.”

[Panel 14]
Narration: “Or so they thought…”
Image: Rafinesque turning dramatically.

[Panel 15]
Narration: “Y’see, in Raf’s time, graves were reused. The first occupant buried would be dug up. The next was put on top of him. And so on…”
Text on tombstone: “Popular site. People are dying to get in.”

[Panel 16]
Narration: “Apparently the workers assigned to retrieve Raf’s body didn’t dig deep enough.”
Worker: “Don’t see anybody. Guess we dug deep enough.”

[Panel 17]
Narration: “Seven years after that, the man who fired him – Horace Holly – died of yellow fever. And every seven years after that, tragedy has struck the college.”
Character: “Just call it a seven-year sneeze.”

[Panel 18]
Narration: “Such as 1969, when the Old Morrison was razed by fire again!! The entire building was ruined – all except for one room… Rafinesque’s crypt.”
Image: Rafinesque in front of a door labeled “Transylvester Sprinkler System.”

[Final Panel – Footer]
Text: “HAPPY HALLOWEEN!”