Chapter 17 | Page 3b: Hot Stuff

Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.

Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.

Transcript

Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…

Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)

Panel 2

Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}

Panel 3

Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.

Panel 4

Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.

Panel 5

Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod

After Dark

This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.

  • Yes, he lives up to his name.

  • Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.

  • No, the North Pole will never be the same.

I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!

Stretch goal announced!

I’ve announced the first Stretch Goal for the 8th Evil Inc graphic novel! The best part about it is this — you don’t need to spend a dime to help us push past this goal! Every tweet, share, like, Tumblr post, etc. gets us that much closer! So warm those clicking fingers up, henchpeople! Stretch_01 If we cross $11K, all of the backers for the new Evil Inc graphic novel will get free Guigar laugh ringtones! PLUS all backers who earned original art will be able to pick the strip they want (based on availability). Two of the ringtones are pulled directly from the infamous “Laugh Track” episode of Webcomics Weekly in which a computer glitch caused my laugh to loop infinitely — nearly killing co-hosts Scott Kurtz and Kris Straub. These ringtones can be easily downloaded to iPhones and Android smartphones. If you haven’t signed up to support this graphic novel, you’ve only got a few more days, so go over to the site, check out all of the cool swag you could get, and help us reach this goal!