Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
My wife and I are rarely “crafty” people, but when the mood hits us, we can really do some cool stuff. And the mood hit us last weekend.
As I’ve shared in the past, a fellow geek-dad and me have started a D&D campaign among our sons — all under the age of 11. He’s the DM, and I’m a character, playing along with the boys. We’ve had a lot of fun sharing our love for the game with the kids — and they’ve really taken to it.
So when one of the friends of my 11yo said that he wanted a D&D starter set for his birthday, we decided to do not only that, but invite him to our regular D&D group. And that’s where it all started… with my wife saying, “Y’know, we could fake-age some paper with tea and then make the invitation look all archaic and junk.”
And we were off to the races. We stained some drawing paper, and then we dried it on a sheet of tin foil with a hair dryer. Then I did a little fake calligraphy and burned the edges to make it look like it had a run-in with a dragon. We sealed with with candle wax. Next we faux-distressed some more paper to act as wrapping paper, wrapped the book up and assembled the entire gift which included all of this plus some dice and a dice bag.
We were both pretty proud of how it turned out.
We brewed some extra-strong tea to soak the paper in. Then we transferred the soaking-wet paper to a sheet of tin foil and dried with a hair dryer.
Doing a little fake-calligraphy
Fake-calligraphy in process
The finished D&D invite. Tea-stained paper, burned on the side with a match.
We sealed the invite with some candle wax.
I’m darned lucky the entire thing didn’t go up in smoke.
All sealed up
The entire birthday gift: A beginner’s D&D book, some dice, a bag-of-holding and an invitation to out 11-and-under D&D game.
We tea-stained our own wrapping paper.
The final birthday gift, complete with a hand-drawn map on the wrapping paper.
