In today’s Evil Inc, Yazmine Velour pitches a viral strategy built entirely on first-date tension — because nothing hooks an audience like awkward chemistry and unresolved feelings. Unfortunately for Captain Heroic, his real-life situation may be trending in a very different direction…
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Transcript
Panel 1 Caption: “A little later…” Captain Heroic: “I can’t believe we’re having this discussion!”
Panel 2 Yazmine Velour: “The video of you and the waitress did monster numbers! —but we need to come back with something big before we miss our moment!”
Panel 3 Yazmine (off-panel): “I was thinking about a public break-up scene…” “—really torture your shippers!”
Panel 4 Captain Heroic: “Break up?? We’re not even dating!”
Panel 5 Yazmine: “I like the way you think! There’s no tension like first-date tension!”
Panel 6 Captain Heroic (thinking as he looks at his phone): “There isn’t? Try last-date tension.” Phone text from Miss Match: “We need to talk.”