Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
The Week in Villainy: Sabertooth
Who’s Up and Who’s Thwarted
Sabertooth: He’s currently involved in two story arcs, in
Wolverine, he was captured and needed to be rescued by his own personal Mini-me (Wild Child). The story arc also seems to indicate that Wolverine has been kicking Sabretooth’s ass for centuries.
As if that’s not bad enough, in
Cable & Deadpool, Sabretooth was taken down by Deadpool using an automatic weapon without even putting up a good fight.
To make matters worse, his AoA counterpart is still having a very successful career as a hero with the Exiles.
For one of the more recognizable villains of the Marvel Universe, this is a pretty lame showing.
— Submitted by Seth.
(If you have a suggestion for “This Week In Villainy,” please let me know.)
