Chapter 17 | Page 13b: Hard bargaining

At Evil Inc, even labor negotiations can spiral out of control — especially when “hard bargaining” takes on a whole new meaning. Cassie Cruz just realized that the conference room she prepped for Dr. Muskiday’s… unconventional solution… is already booked for a high-stakes union negotiation. Unfortunately, it looks like Doctor Threat and the henchpersons may have already reached an agreement.

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Transcript

Panel 1
Cassie Cruz (angry):
“We are NOT having an orgy at our desks!”

Dr. Muskiday (calmly defensive):
“Of course not! I stocked the conference room with mattresses and lube.”


Panel 2
Cassie Cruz (panicking):
“The conference room?! Doctor Threat is scheduled to negotiate a new contract with the henchpersons’ union in there!”


Panel 3
Cassie Cruz (looking toward a slightly open door):
“Where’s Doctor Threat?”

Dr. Muskiday (matter-of-fact):
“I believe that’s him in the middle of — erm — ‘collective bargaining.’”

(Sound effects from behind the closed conference room door:)
“Hhh hhh”
“Plap Ngh Plap Plap”
“Hngh hhh”
“mmf mmf mmf”


Detailed Alt Text

A three-panel comic set inside an office at Evil Inc.

Panel 1: Cassie Cruz, a professional woman with short brown hair, red glasses, a white blazer, and a low-cut yellow top, stands beside her desk looking furious. A small pink “emotion cloud” with a skull icon floats near her head, indicating anger. She shouts that they are not having an orgy at their desks. Standing nearby is Dr. Muskiday, a short humanoid with a fly’s head—large red compound eyes, small body, and lab coat—who calmly explains that he already prepared the conference room with mattresses and lube.

Panel 2: Close-up on Cassie clutching her head in alarm. Her expression is wide-eyed and panicked. She exclaims that the conference room is supposed to be used for an important union negotiation between Doctor Threat and the henchpersons’ union.

Panel 3: Cassie and Dr. Muskiday stand in a hallway facing a slightly open conference room door. Cassie asks where Doctor Threat is. Muskiday gestures toward the door and awkwardly suggests that Doctor Threat is inside, in the middle of “collective bargaining,” implying something sexual. From inside the room comes exaggerated, comic-style sound effects indicating vigorous activity: heavy breathing (“hhh hhh,” “hngh”), rhythmic “plap” noises, and muffled sounds (“mmf mmf”). The implication is that the union negotiation has devolved into an orgy inside the conference room.

TWIV: April 2, part 2

This Week in Villainy: April 2-8, 2007

Who’s Up and Who’s Thwarted

Wrecking Crew: Marvel’s blue-collar baddies are going to earn the distinction of being the first butts kicked by the newly-formed Omega Flight in Omega Flight #1. Since this team is being comprised of the likes of U.S. Agent (the Captain America wannabe) and Beta Ray Bill (the horse-faced Thor wannabe) and Arachne (the Spider-Woman wannabe), it’s gonna be awfully hard for any of these villains to look anyone in the eyes when they finally get carted away to prison.

Which raises a question: Do they waste space in the special Negative-Zone prison for these guys, or do they just take their toys away and send them to their rooms?

Points deducted for the fact that they had to go to Canada to ply their craft since there are too many heroes in the U.S. for them. And they should know, they’ve been thwarted by almost everyone with a cape in the Marvel universe. Even the Runaways dusted them.

Extra points deducted for the fact that they’re clearly going to fail there, too.