Chapter 17 | Page 13b: Hard bargaining

Posted on April 2, 2026 by Brad Guigar

At Evil Inc, even labor negotiations can spiral out of control — especially when “hard bargaining” takes on a whole new meaning. Cassie Cruz just realized that the conference room she prepped for Dr. Muskiday’s… unconventional solution… is already booked for a high-stakes union negotiation. Unfortunately, it looks like Doctor Threat and the henchpersons may have already reached an agreement.

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Transcript

Panel 1
Cassie Cruz (angry):
“We are NOT having an orgy at our desks!”

Dr. Muskiday (calmly defensive):
“Of course not! I stocked the conference room with mattresses and lube.”

Panel 2
Cassie Cruz (panicking):
“The conference room?! Doctor Threat is scheduled to negotiate a new contract with the henchpersons’ union in there!”

Panel 3
Cassie Cruz (looking toward a slightly open door):
“Where’s Doctor Threat?”

Dr. Muskiday (matter-of-fact):
“I believe that’s him in the middle of — erm — ‘collective bargaining.’”

(Sound effects from behind the closed conference room door:)
“Hhh hhh”
“Plap Ngh Plap Plap”
“Hngh hhh”
“mmf mmf mmf”

Detailed Alt Text

A three-panel comic set inside an office at Evil Inc.

Panel 1: Cassie Cruz, a professional woman with short brown hair, red glasses, a white blazer, and a low-cut yellow top, stands beside her desk looking furious. A small pink “emotion cloud” with a skull icon floats near her head, indicating anger. She shouts that they are not having an orgy at their desks. Standing nearby is Dr. Muskiday, a short humanoid with a fly’s head—large red compound eyes, small body, and lab coat—who calmly explains that he already prepared the conference room with mattresses and lube.

Panel 2: Close-up on Cassie clutching her head in alarm. Her expression is wide-eyed and panicked. She exclaims that the conference room is supposed to be used for an important union negotiation between Doctor Threat and the henchpersons’ union.

Panel 3: Cassie and Dr. Muskiday stand in a hallway facing a slightly open conference room door. Cassie asks where Doctor Threat is. Muskiday gestures toward the door and awkwardly suggests that Doctor Threat is inside, in the middle of “collective bargaining,” implying something sexual. From inside the room comes exaggerated, comic-style sound effects indicating vigorous activity: heavy breathing (“hhh hhh,” “hngh”), rhythmic “plap” noises, and muffled sounds (“mmf mmf”). The implication is that the union negotiation has devolved into an orgy inside the conference room.

Emerald City Con Report – Saturday

Posted on April 3, 2007 by Brad Guigar

Con Report: Emerald City Comic Con — Saturday

After I passed out in my hotel room (from exhaustion) Friday night, I awoke the next morning ready to venture out into Seattle to find breakfast. I got up early and planned to ask the front desk for directions to a nearby breakfast place.

Instead, I was greeted in the lobby by the absolutely finest complimentary breakfast in the history of hospitality. The hotel complimentary breakfast has come to be known as the Continental Breakfast — where “Continental” is a euphamism for “stale donut.”

The Springhill Mariott had a full breakfast bar available to its guests: Scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, cereal, fruit, three kinds of coffee, juice, milk, danish, bagels, donuts, and a make-you-own-waffle station. And I know I’m missing some items. I know I saw hard-boiled eggs Sunday, for example. I was standing, awestruck by the sheer magnitude of it all, when I heard, “Hey Brad, you want to join us for breakfast?”

It was Howard and Sandra Tayler and two of their delightful children. The Tayler kids were polite, well-behaved, and a joy to sit with. They had a great day planned with their mom and they were truly enjoying the weekend.

After breakfast, Howard and I went to the convention center to finish the set-up of the booth. As we were setting up, Howard was telling me about Jim Zubkavich’s LiveJournal in which he posts about reviewing art student portfolios. It’s a great read.

The convention started soon thereafter. My friends, Dave Kellet, Kristofer Straub, and Greg and Liz Dean joined us. Scott Kurtz and his lovely wife, Angela, stopped over to say hi. They were across from us at the Image booth.

My books and convention sketches sold very well — many of which were bought by people who were hearing about Evil Inc for the first time. Hopefully, they’re here among us now, fully converted henchpersons all. Photo (Click to enlagarge): Power Girl drops by and gets a sketch. Of herself.

The highlight of my day at the booth was meeting the longtime fan who posts here as “Jeff RH.” Jeff has been a dedicated reader since the early days of Greystone Inn, and has always been kind enough to drop me a line — whether it was to point out a spelling error or cheer a favorite punchline. That’s my favorite part about attending a con — meeting people like that who have been such strong supporters for so long and being able to thank them personally for their kindness. Photo (Click to enlagarge): UberHenchman Jeff RH.

I was also there when we found out that Darth Vader is a Schlock Mercenary fan. Howard rose to the occasion with a masterful convention sketch. Photo (Click to enlagarge): Howard Tayler hands Lord Vader his sketch.

At the close of business Saturday, I rode back to the hotel with TMNT’s Jim Lawson and Transmetropolitan artist Darick Robertson. Darick is a phenomenal artist and a very personable gent.

Saturday night, Bill Barnes of Unshelved opened up his house to a huge group of us for a barbecue. Bill is an incredibly talented cartoonist with a wonderfully dry sense of humor. The guy is as sharp as a tack. Bill’s brother-in-law barbecued the meat for the event — which meant checking in on a brisket every houple hours for something like 16 hours as the beef cooked. Day and night. For people he’d never met and didn’t know. What a nice guy! And the beef and the sausages — all the food — was incredible.

The company was every bit as good as the food. The Penny Arcade boys were there, Gene Ambaum (Barnes’ co-conspirator in Unshelved and all-around good guy), the Kurtzes, all of the BLC folks, and a whole lot of other people — all hanging out, laughing, and talking comics.

Bill was nice enough to show his studio to young Davey Kellett and me. It’s magnificent. He’s got one of those full-screen Wacom tablet things and lots of space to work — with a great view to boot. He and Dave were already posturing over their coffee-lid challenge (check out their respective sites).

The BLC gang and Scott and his wife all returned to the hotel and talked in the lobby well into the night. BLC has some excellent things in store for Comic Con International.

And I made plans to execute the Prestige at my earliest opportunity. Because bathing dogs just isn’t enough.

But, no, I’ve said too much.

Photo (Click to enlagarge): It’s not the VILF in your life; it’s the life in your VILF.

Tomorrow: Part Three