Chapter 17 | Page 13b: Hard bargaining

At Evil Inc, even labor negotiations can spiral out of control — especially when “hard bargaining” takes on a whole new meaning. Cassie Cruz just realized that the conference room she prepped for Dr. Muskiday’s… unconventional solution… is already booked for a high-stakes union negotiation. Unfortunately, it looks like Doctor Threat and the henchpersons may have already reached an agreement.

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Transcript

Panel 1
Cassie Cruz (angry):
“We are NOT having an orgy at our desks!”

Dr. Muskiday (calmly defensive):
“Of course not! I stocked the conference room with mattresses and lube.”


Panel 2
Cassie Cruz (panicking):
“The conference room?! Doctor Threat is scheduled to negotiate a new contract with the henchpersons’ union in there!”


Panel 3
Cassie Cruz (looking toward a slightly open door):
“Where’s Doctor Threat?”

Dr. Muskiday (matter-of-fact):
“I believe that’s him in the middle of — erm — ‘collective bargaining.’”

(Sound effects from behind the closed conference room door:)
“Hhh hhh”
“Plap Ngh Plap Plap”
“Hngh hhh”
“mmf mmf mmf”


Detailed Alt Text

A three-panel comic set inside an office at Evil Inc.

Panel 1: Cassie Cruz, a professional woman with short brown hair, red glasses, a white blazer, and a low-cut yellow top, stands beside her desk looking furious. A small pink “emotion cloud” with a skull icon floats near her head, indicating anger. She shouts that they are not having an orgy at their desks. Standing nearby is Dr. Muskiday, a short humanoid with a fly’s head—large red compound eyes, small body, and lab coat—who calmly explains that he already prepared the conference room with mattresses and lube.

Panel 2: Close-up on Cassie clutching her head in alarm. Her expression is wide-eyed and panicked. She exclaims that the conference room is supposed to be used for an important union negotiation between Doctor Threat and the henchpersons’ union.

Panel 3: Cassie and Dr. Muskiday stand in a hallway facing a slightly open conference room door. Cassie asks where Doctor Threat is. Muskiday gestures toward the door and awkwardly suggests that Doctor Threat is inside, in the middle of “collective bargaining,” implying something sexual. From inside the room comes exaggerated, comic-style sound effects indicating vigorous activity: heavy breathing (“hhh hhh,” “hngh”), rhythmic “plap” noises, and muffled sounds (“mmf mmf”). The implication is that the union negotiation has devolved into an orgy inside the conference room.

Creators Syndicate’s Torture Chamber

Creators Syndicate’s Torture Chamber

Just when you think an institution can’t sink any lower…

Check out the latest post on the Daily Cartoonist:

Today, Creators Syndicate posted the first strip of a new feature that they have under development. The new feature is entitled The Dogs of C Kennel by Mick Mastroianni. The Web site says:

Creators Syndicate receives thousands of submissions every year, of which we only select a few to work with. From time to time, we come across submissions that we think have the potential for syndication down the road. The process of refining a new strip, developing the characters, rewriting the gags, and doing a million other things necessary before a finished product is ready for your local newspaper can take several years.

A cartoonist’s job is frequently lonely and difficult, but at the same time extremely fulfilling. Coming up with something funny and unique 365 days a year is a daunting task. It is not surprising that most of the comic strips you read in your local paper took much longer to develop than most people realize.

As a reader, you might be interested in watching what we consider a new experiment here at Creators. We have a received a submission called “The Dogs of C Kennel� by Mick Mastroianni that we think has much potential. So we will post it on our website, with a new strip each day, while it is still in its earliest stages.

Please don’t be surprised if you see many changes along the way. The whole point is to give you an opportunity to see a new strip in development and watch it as it evolves. It’s new, rough, unedited … The gags will change, the characters will change, the storylines will change, the settings will change…and you can watch it all right here!

This experiment will provide insight into how a cartoonist works, and how we will be shepherding Mick in the creative process. We hope you enjoy this new experiment on our website.


Am I the only one who finds pure horror in this concept? It’s bad enough working with a small number of syndicate editors. It drove Frank Cho right off the newspaper funny pages (and right to Marvel Comics).

Creators wants to replace those few editors with … good gosh… a bajillion more. Every last darned one an expert in his own mind, too. Clearly poor Mick is a “dog person” and maybe that’s just as well — he’s going to be running in circles, chasing his tail, for the next several months. For every six people who suggest he “zig”, a half-dozen will insist he “zag.”

Seriously, Creator’s Syndicate just concocted one of the inner circles of a cartoonist’s Dante’s Inferno.

Do you know where truly great comic strips come from? They come from truly great cartoonists. Not editors. And certainly not from committees.

Do you know what a camel is? It’s a horse that was designed by committee.

This comic doesn’t have a chance. Not a chance in blazes. It’s DOOMED I tell ya.

According to his bio, Mick is the grandson of B.C. creator Johnny Hart…

Or not.