Here's a closer look at the Evil Inc emails...
“It’s good ta be da king…”
While watching Mel Brooks: The 99-Year-Old Man, three things jumped out at me and immediately elbowed their way into my creative psyche.
First: Fear. Or rather, the systematic, professional-grade obliteration of fear. Again and again, the documentary circles back to how much of Mel Brooks’ creative power came from refusing to be intimidated — by authority, by convention, by “good taste,” or by the quiet little voice that says don’t do that, people might judge you. That hit me right in the gut.
If fear is the tax we all pay for wanting to make things, Brooks just… stopped paying it.
Second: as the Zoomers would say, that man was horny on main.
I rewatched History of the World, Part I last night, and wow — no easing into it. From cavemen masturbating in the opening moments to wall-to-wall boob jokes, dick jokes, and lust as a driving historical force, the movie commits early and never lets up. It’s joyful. It’s shameless. It’s aggressively adolescent in the best possible way.
And as the World's Okayest Smut Dad, I found it deeply affirming. There’s something comforting about realizing that one of the most celebrated comedy legends of all time built his empire by saying, “Yes, but what if we made it dirtier?”
Third (and finally): whatever happened to Mary-Margaret Humes?
Va-va-va voom. That is all.
Taken together, it’s a reminder I didn’t know I needed: Fear is optional. Horniness is timeless. And comedy works best when it’s unembarrassed about what it loves.
Which is… honestly a pretty solid Evil Inc mission statement when you think about it.
Transcript
Panel 1
Caption (yellow box):
The next day…
Dr. Muskiday (entering the nearly empty office, which is empty, speaking):
Where is everybody?!
Didn’t they get my email??
Panel 2
Giant Tess (holding up a red book):
Here’s a guide to proper terminology in the workplace.
You’ll want to read it.
Panel 3
Giant Tess, continues in a narration box:
“Desi and ‘Dragon’ took one look at the subject line and got exactly the wrong idea.”
Inset image below narration:
An email inbox is shown with the subject line highlighted:
All-hands meeting — NOW!!
Other visible email subjects include:
- “Reminder: It’s Casual Fridays, Not ‘Casualty’”
- “Who Keeps Feeding the Lava Lamp?”
- “RE: Are Monologues Considered Testimony?”
- “Janitor’s Closet…?”
- “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All”
Panel 4
Giant Tess’ narration (yellow box):
“When I caught them, I told them to beat it.”
Giant Tess (pointing angrily):
(No dialogue)
Desdemona and Iron Dragon are caught mid-makeout on the floor.
Panel 5
Giant Tess:
I’ll… um… need that book after you’re finished with it.
DETAILED ALT TEXT
A five-panel comic set inside the Evil Inc corporate office.
Panel 1:
A yellow narration box reads “THE NEXT DAY…”. A wide shot of an empty open-plan office filled with gray cubicles, rolling office chairs, desktop computers, and filing cabinets. Dr. Muskiday — a short, fly creature in a lab jacket — walks into a nearly empty office. Giant Tess is standing there, looking annoyed. Dr. Musiday says, “WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!” followed by “DIDN’T THEY GET MY EMAIL??”
Panel 2:
A closer shot of Giant Tess holding up a red paperback book titled “Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide.” Dr. Muskiday’s large compound eyes peer up from the bottom of the panel. Tess calmly explains, “HERE’S A GUIDE TO PROPER TERMINOLOGY IN THE WORKPLACE. YOU’LL WANT TO READ IT.”
Panel 3:
Giant Tess’ dialogue is continued in a yellow narration box: “DESI AND ‘DRAGON’ TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE SUBJECT LINE AND GOT EXACTLY THE WRONG IDEA.”
Below is a close-up of an email inbox. The highlighted message reads: “ALL-HANDS MEETING — NOW!!” Other humorous subject lines fill the inbox, including reminders about Casual Fridays, questions about lava lamps, legal monologues, janitor’s closets, and an email chain titled “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All.”
Panel 4:
Another yellow narration box continues Giant Tess’ dialogue: “WHEN I CAUGHT THEM, I TOLD THEM TO BEAT IT.”
The scene shows Giant Tess pointing angrily at two coworkers on the office floor between cubicles. Desdemona, a red-skinned devil woman with small horns and a curvy build, is sitting in Iron Dragon’s lap. Iron Dragon, a muscular man in dark clothing with dragon-themed elements, has his arms around her. They are clearly caught mid-makeout and look startled and embarrassed.
Panel 5:
Giant Tess stands with Dr. Muskiday beside her, who is now holding the red Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide. Tess looks awkward and thoughtful, one finger raised to her chin, as she says, “I’LL… UM… NEED THAT BOOK AFTER YOU’RE FINISHED WITH IT.”
Creators Syndicate’s Torture Chamber
Just when you think an institution can’t sink any lower…
Check out the latest post on the
Daily Cartoonist:
Today, Creators Syndicate posted the first strip of a new feature that they have under development. The new feature is entitled The Dogs of C Kennel by Mick Mastroianni. The Web site says:
Creators Syndicate receives thousands of submissions every year, of which we only select a few to work with. From time to time, we come across submissions that we think have the potential for syndication down the road. The process of refining a new strip, developing the characters, rewriting the gags, and doing a million other things necessary before a finished product is ready for your local newspaper can take several years.
A cartoonist’s job is frequently lonely and difficult, but at the same time extremely fulfilling. Coming up with something funny and unique 365 days a year is a daunting task. It is not surprising that most of the comic strips you read in your local paper took much longer to develop than most people realize.
As a reader, you might be interested in watching what we consider a new experiment here at Creators. We have a received a submission called “The Dogs of C Kennel� by Mick Mastroianni that we think has much potential. So we will post it on our website, with a new strip each day, while it is still in its earliest stages.
Please don’t be surprised if you see many changes along the way. The whole point is to give you an opportunity to see a new strip in development and watch it as it evolves. It’s new, rough, unedited … The gags will change, the characters will change, the storylines will change, the settings will change…and you can watch it all right here!
This experiment will provide insight into how a cartoonist works, and how we will be shepherding Mick in the creative process. We hope you enjoy this new experiment on our website.Am I the only one who finds pure horror in this concept? It’s bad enough working with a small number of syndicate editors. It drove Frank Cho
right off the newspaper funny pages (and right to Marvel Comics).
Creators wants to replace those few editors with … good gosh… a bajillion more. Every last darned one an expert in his own mind, too. Clearly poor Mick is a “dog person” and maybe that’s just as well — he’s going to be running in circles, chasing his tail, for the next several months. For every six people who suggest he “zig”, a half-dozen will insist he “zag.”
Seriously, Creator’s Syndicate just concocted one of the inner circles of a cartoonist’s Dante’s Inferno.
Do you know where truly great comic strips come from? They come from truly great cartoonists. Not editors. And certainly not from committees.
Do you know what a camel is? It’s a horse that was designed by committee.
This comic doesn’t have a chance. Not a chance in blazes. It’s DOOMED I tell ya.
According to his bio, Mick is the grandson of B.C. creator Johnny Hart…Or not.
