Here's a closer look at the Evil Inc emails...
“It’s good ta be da king…”
While watching Mel Brooks: The 99-Year-Old Man, three things jumped out at me and immediately elbowed their way into my creative psyche.
First: Fear. Or rather, the systematic, professional-grade obliteration of fear. Again and again, the documentary circles back to how much of Mel Brooks’ creative power came from refusing to be intimidated — by authority, by convention, by “good taste,” or by the quiet little voice that says don’t do that, people might judge you. That hit me right in the gut.
If fear is the tax we all pay for wanting to make things, Brooks just… stopped paying it.
Second: as the Zoomers would say, that man was horny on main.
I rewatched History of the World, Part I last night, and wow — no easing into it. From cavemen masturbating in the opening moments to wall-to-wall boob jokes, dick jokes, and lust as a driving historical force, the movie commits early and never lets up. It’s joyful. It’s shameless. It’s aggressively adolescent in the best possible way.
And as the World's Okayest Smut Dad, I found it deeply affirming. There’s something comforting about realizing that one of the most celebrated comedy legends of all time built his empire by saying, “Yes, but what if we made it dirtier?”
Third (and finally): whatever happened to Mary-Margaret Humes?
Va-va-va voom. That is all.
Taken together, it’s a reminder I didn’t know I needed: Fear is optional. Horniness is timeless. And comedy works best when it’s unembarrassed about what it loves.
Which is… honestly a pretty solid Evil Inc mission statement when you think about it.
Transcript
Panel 1
Caption (yellow box):
The next day…
Dr. Muskiday (entering the nearly empty office, which is empty, speaking):
Where is everybody?!
Didn’t they get my email??
Panel 2
Giant Tess (holding up a red book):
Here’s a guide to proper terminology in the workplace.
You’ll want to read it.
Panel 3
Giant Tess, continues in a narration box:
“Desi and ‘Dragon’ took one look at the subject line and got exactly the wrong idea.”
Inset image below narration:
An email inbox is shown with the subject line highlighted:
All-hands meeting — NOW!!
Other visible email subjects include:
- “Reminder: It’s Casual Fridays, Not ‘Casualty’”
- “Who Keeps Feeding the Lava Lamp?”
- “RE: Are Monologues Considered Testimony?”
- “Janitor’s Closet…?”
- “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All”
Panel 4
Giant Tess’ narration (yellow box):
“When I caught them, I told them to beat it.”
Giant Tess (pointing angrily):
(No dialogue)
Desdemona and Iron Dragon are caught mid-makeout on the floor.
Panel 5
Giant Tess:
I’ll… um… need that book after you’re finished with it.
DETAILED ALT TEXT
A five-panel comic set inside the Evil Inc corporate office.
Panel 1:
A yellow narration box reads “THE NEXT DAY…”. A wide shot of an empty open-plan office filled with gray cubicles, rolling office chairs, desktop computers, and filing cabinets. Dr. Muskiday — a short, fly creature in a lab jacket — walks into a nearly empty office. Giant Tess is standing there, looking annoyed. Dr. Musiday says, “WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!” followed by “DIDN’T THEY GET MY EMAIL??”
Panel 2:
A closer shot of Giant Tess holding up a red paperback book titled “Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide.” Dr. Muskiday’s large compound eyes peer up from the bottom of the panel. Tess calmly explains, “HERE’S A GUIDE TO PROPER TERMINOLOGY IN THE WORKPLACE. YOU’LL WANT TO READ IT.”
Panel 3:
Giant Tess’ dialogue is continued in a yellow narration box: “DESI AND ‘DRAGON’ TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE SUBJECT LINE AND GOT EXACTLY THE WRONG IDEA.”
Below is a close-up of an email inbox. The highlighted message reads: “ALL-HANDS MEETING — NOW!!” Other humorous subject lines fill the inbox, including reminders about Casual Fridays, questions about lava lamps, legal monologues, janitor’s closets, and an email chain titled “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All.”
Panel 4:
Another yellow narration box continues Giant Tess’ dialogue: “WHEN I CAUGHT THEM, I TOLD THEM TO BEAT IT.”
The scene shows Giant Tess pointing angrily at two coworkers on the office floor between cubicles. Desdemona, a red-skinned devil woman with small horns and a curvy build, is sitting in Iron Dragon’s lap. Iron Dragon, a muscular man in dark clothing with dragon-themed elements, has his arms around her. They are clearly caught mid-makeout and look startled and embarrassed.
Panel 5:
Giant Tess stands with Dr. Muskiday beside her, who is now holding the red Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide. Tess looks awkward and thoughtful, one finger raised to her chin, as she says, “I’LL… UM… NEED THAT BOOK AFTER YOU’RE FINISHED WITH IT.”
Green Lantern Corps 8
Well. It’s official. I’m an old man.
I’m a huge Green Lantern fan, and when I saw the launch of the Green Lantern Corps monthly title, it was a sight-unseen lock on my pull list.
It had a respectable start, but has been getting darker and darker.
Finally, with #7, it just started getting to be too much. With #8, I was convinced. The violence has gotten downright — oh man, I’m gonna say it —
gratuitous.
Excuse me. A liver spot just popped up on my forearm.I mean. Geez! Can we take a look at GLC#8 for a couple seconds?
It starts out with the exploding heads and general corpse-mashing of three aliens. And since they’re evil and non-human-looking, it’s fairly easy to get past.
Why is everyone driving so fast?Then we get to the R’amey Holl, a beautiful butterfly-like alien who is introduced in #7.
There are sparks between her and Guy Gardner — she lays a serious lip-lock on him about six pages in. She’s drawn to be very sexy — with serious attention paid to her secondary-sex characteristics — and she’s written with a very definite sweetness.
Excuse me. Time for my Geritol.
I should have seen it coming. Sure enough. by the end of the issue, she gets eviscerated by a terrifying alien baddie. But not before one last big push on those sex buttons. Check out the scan to the right… she’s grasped by the alien and the “camera” goes right to her ribs so the main focus is on her breasts — accentuated by a uniform that just
happens to accentuate her nipples.
And then… “Spluuutch.”
I remember when this was all farms.Before you take a quick look at Lightning Lady and cry “hypocrate”, let me say this: I like sex. I think sexy comics are just dandy. I have no problem whatsoever with amping up the sex in this sort of comic — especially if it adds a meaningful layer to the storytelling.
And, of course, I understand that violence is going to be a staple in an action comic. I could do with a little less blood and a great deal less time spent on what look to be medical illustrations of organs and innards, but I’m willing to put up with a little bit of that, too, if it’s in the name of a good story.
Hey you kids! Get off my lawn!But, I have to say… it makes me really, really uncomfortable to see sex and violence amped up to such high degrees and presented so close to each other. One panel is breasts and the next is guts.
That’s not good storytelling. It’s a cheat.
Why is everyone driving so fast?Okay. I get it. She’s a butterfly-alien. She’s probably going to come out of a coccoon in #9 and save Gardner. And I’m certain that that kiss was more than a kiss. Gardner may very well be gestating the coccoon himself. I know she’s not
really dead. But still… those images are still burned into my head — and I’d just as soon they weren’t.
I think I need a nap.
I should have seen it coming. Sure enough. by the end of the issue, she gets eviscerated by a terrifying alien baddie. But not before one last big push on those sex buttons. Check out the scan to the right… she’s grasped by the alien and the “camera” goes right to her ribs so the main focus is on her breasts — accentuated by a uniform that just happens to accentuate her nipples.
