Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Phables reaction
It seems as if my first
Phable of the New Year has already irked a reader or two. For example, Brendan not only wrote me an e-mail, but linked to his blog as well:
Twice in the same “Phables� strip, Brad Guigar writes, “Only a mom knows how sometimes the fear of one’s own death has nothing to do with one’s own life.�
Right, “only a mom� has any sense of responsibility or devotion to the family. “Only a mom� knows what it’s like to have children who depend on you for everything from daily meals to moral guidance to help with homework. We fathers have nothing to do with our families: why, if you took away the paycheck we contribute, what else do we offer, other than nothing? We don’t have any involvement with our kids, other than providing half their chromosomes. And since we’re not moms, none of us dads have any idea of how “fear of one’s own death has nothing to do with one’s own life.� Read the
whole post. (Warning: Very strong language.)
