Chapter 17 | Page 2b: The Ol’ Battle Ax

The #GuigarChristmasCountdown Rolls On

Every day until Christmas, I’m releasing a brand-new holiday single-panel gag — and this year’s batch has already included:

  • Overworked elves

  • Malfunctioning snowmen

  • Questionable reindeer behavior

  • And Santas who are absolutely phoning it in

Next week’s cartoons keep the absurdity rolling. If you’re counting down to Christmas with me… buckle up. We’re not even halfway to the weirdest ones. Catch them on BlueskyPatreon chat, or the Evil Inc Subreddit.

TRANSCRIPT

Panel 1 (Later)
Hailey: “Come on, Rose! This is a big opportunity for me! Just tell me what Cap’s ‘usual’ is!”

Panel 2
Rose (from inside the storage closet): “Fine. He loves chicken soup — extra crackers — and a tall lemonade.”

Panel 3
Rose: “Say… do you think you could open the door now? There’s not much air in here.”

Panel 4
Hailey: “If you look in the corner, you’ll see an old battle ax.”

Panel 5
Hailey: “There’s no battle ax in— Oh.”

Panel 6
SFX: KRAKK

Panel 7
Rose (calmly): “Thank you!”

Contest to Replace Marrying Cartoonist

Paper Holds Contest to Replace Marrying Cartoonist for a Day

[E&P] With Wisconsin State Journal freelance editorial cartoonist Phil Hands getting married this weekend, the Madison newspaper is seeking an artistic reader to fill in for him this Sunday.

The paper is asking readers to vote online, through Thursday, for their favorite among five finalists for the one-day gig. The five were narrowed down from about 75 entries in the “Fill for Phil” contest.

The winner also gets lunch with Hands, a sketchbook, and State Journal pencils.


OK. I know newspapers are in dire straits. Believe me, I know.

But the prize for this thing is… State Journal pencils?

I mean, you know they’re cheap because they keep the cartoonist at freelance status instead of giving the poor sap a full-time position. That much is a given in today’s sad state of corporate affairs.

But to cheap out on the readers, too?

Sheesh. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if the big lunch is out of the newsroom vending machines.