Chapter 17 | Page 3b: Hot Stuff

Posted on December 19, 2025 by Brad Guigar

Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.

Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.

Transcript

Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…

Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)

Panel 2

Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}

Panel 3

Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.

Panel 4

Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.

Panel 5

Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod

After Dark

This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.

  • Yes, he lives up to his name.

  • Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.

  • No, the North Pole will never be the same.

I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!

PhilCon 2006 Con Report

Posted on November 28, 2006 by Brad Guigar

PhilCon 2006 Con Report

PhilCon was my last convention appearance of the year and I can definitely say I went out on a high note. As you may remember from an earlier post, I was a little hesitant about this convention. However, once I got there, I realized that I had lucked into a very nice convention thrown by excellent people. One of the organizers even came over to make sure I didn’t have any hard feelings about their guest policy. One of the many people who came up to say hello and peruse through the books was Mark Sachs (above, right) who illustrates A Miracle of Science.

One of the highlights of the weekend for me was when I was first setting up my table. A woman selling clothing at an adjacent booth was talking with me as I unfurled my vertical banner — which features the illustration of Miss Match from the first Evil Inc Annual Report. She took a sidelong glance at the illustration and said, “Oh. You should be next to Frank.”

“Frank?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she continued matter-of-factly, “He has all the porn.”

I gamely explained that this was a newspaper comic strip that didn’t really qualify as “porn,” but my heart wasn’t in it.

My mind was still boggling over Frank.

I mean, geez. How hard did he have to work to get all the porn?

And where does he keep it? He’d need an entire warehouse of beds to stash it all under, wouldn’t he?

Sensing I’ve gone too far, I’ll turn to Super-Fan Veronica who you can see holding the proof copy of Evil Inc Annual Report Volume 2. Her cousin, Tim, took the photo. He says he has mathematical proof that women are evil.

Now that’s applied mathematics.

I will be finalizing the ISBN/bar code issues this week, but if that stuff’s not important to you, you can buy Evil Inc Annual Report Volume 2 today.