Chapter 17 | Page 3b: Hot Stuff

Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.

Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.

Transcript

Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…

Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)

Panel 2

Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}

Panel 3

Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.

Panel 4

Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.

Panel 5

Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod

After Dark

This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.

  • Yes, he lives up to his name.

  • Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.

  • No, the North Pole will never be the same.

I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!

O.J. Book, TV Special, Cancelled

O.J. Book, TV Special, Cancelled

[YAHOO] After a firestorm of criticism, News Corp. said Monday that it has canceled the O.J. Simpson book and television special “If I Did It.”

In the projects, Simpson speaks in hypothetical terms about how he would have committed the 1994 slayings of his ex-wife Nicole and her friend Goldman.

“I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project,” said Rupert Murdoch, News Corp. chairman. “We are sorry for any pain that his has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.”

A dozen Fox affiliates had already said they would not air the two-part sweeps month special, planned for next week before publication of the book. It was being published by ReganBooks, a HarperCollins imprint owned, like the Fox network, by News Corp.

The industry trade publication Broadcasting & Cable editorialized against the show Monday, saying “Fox should cancel this evil sweeps stunt.”

One of the nation’s largest superstore chains, Borders Group Inc., said last week it would donate any profits on the book to charity.
This is a breaking story. Follow this link for any updates.

And now a question: The book was due to appear in stores later this week. That means that tens of thousands of books have already been printed. What happens to those books? Could this be the first book burning that people could actually feel good about?

And another: Murdock apologizes to the families of Ron and Nicole for any pain this might have caused them. Are we expected to beleive that they didn’t know well in advanced that Nicole’s children might be a little ooged out by hearing their father describe how he would have killed their mother if he had done it? That thought didn’t cross anybody’s mind?