Fairmount City has faced plenty of supervillains before. But this may be its first livestreaming supervillain.
After losing her brief burst of social-media stardom, Hailey re-emerges with a new look, a new name, and a dangerous new relationship with engagement metrics. Now she is Countess Influencia — the Validation Vampire — and every heart, like, and notification seems to make her stronger.
Fairmount News Network tries to cover the attack, but even the news crew can’t stop checking her feed. As hearts start streaming from phones across the city — and around the world — it becomes clear that this crime spree is no longer just a local story.
The world has met Countess Influencia.
And she would very much like you to smash that “Like” button.
Transcript
Panel 1
At the Fairmount News Network studio. Someone off panel whispers, “Psst! Ms. Takahaski! You’re on the air!” Hana Takahaski looks up from her smartphone and says, “Oh! Umm… We’ve got breaking news!”
Panel 2
Hana says, “We’re getting live reports of an attack on the downtown area.” A stream of hearts begins floating from her phone.
Panel 3
The scene widens. Hana is still on her phone. The cameraman is also on his phone. Streams of hearts flow from both phones and from other unseen people in the studio. Hana says, “She may be the first supervillain to livestream her own crime spree! Moreover…” Then, distracted by her phone, she says, “Hold on…” Her phone displays the text: “YAS, Queen!”
Panel 4 (inset)
Exterior view of the Fairmount News Network building. Several streams of hearts flow outward from inside the building and from the street below. Hana says, “Moreover, while Fairmount City is her current target, she has already taken the whole WORLD by storm!”
Panel 5
Hailey, now transformed into Countess Influencia, floats above the city as streams of hearts flow directly into her body. She says, “Look upon Countess Influencia and despair!” Then, in smaller type: “And don’t forget to smash that ‘Like’ button and subscribe!”
Alt text
A five-panel Evil Inc comic introduces Hailey’s new supervillain persona, Countess Influencia. At Fairmount News Network, anchor Hana Takahaski is caught looking at her phone just as she goes on the air with breaking news about an attack downtown. As she reports, red heart icons begin floating from her phone. The scene widens to show the cameraman and others in the studio also absorbed by their phones, with streams of hearts flowing upward. Hana reports that the villain may be the first supervillain to livestream her own crime spree, then gets distracted by a message reading, “YAS, Queen!” Outside the Fairmount News Network building, heart streams pour from the building and the street below. In the final panel, Hailey floats above the city in her new vampire-inspired outfit as Countess Influencia. Streams of hearts flow into her body as she declares, “Look upon Countess Influencia and despair!” She adds, “And don’t forget to smash that ‘Like’ button and subscribe!”
Ailing ‘Dilbert’ cartoonist talks again
[AP]
DUBLIN, Calif. – A balding, bespectacled working stiff inexplicably loses his voice — except when speaking in rhyme or pinching his nose.
It may sound like a farcical plot for a popular cartoon satirizing American office culture, but “Dilbert” cartoonist Scott Adams says he recovered less than a week ago from just such an affliction.
“I don’t want to give false hope to people who are suffering from the same thing,” Adams said, sitting at his drawing tablet in his suburban San Francisco office. “I don’t even know if my voice is going to last. Maybe this is an illusion. It came back but in a few days it could go away again forever.”
Adams, 49, appears to be a rare example of someone who has largely — but not totally — recovered from Spasmodic Dysphonia, a mysterious disease in which parts of the brain controlling speech shut down or go haywire. As many as 30,000 Americans are afflicted, typically in their 40s and 50s, experts say.
One of the most peculiar aspects of SD is that victims are typically unable to have intimate conversations in their normal voice. Yet they can speak under different circumstances, such as immediately after sneezing or laughing, or in an exaggerated falsetto or baritone, or while reciting poetry, according to SD support groups. Read more.I don’t know what’s more amazing, Adams’ disease or his
drawing tablet.
