Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
The New Schlock Storefront
Big news from Howard Tayler’s blog:
If you live anywhere in North America, pre-orders for Schlock Mercenary: The Blackness Between will open on Tuesday morning. We’re throwing the switch at 8 a.m. Mountain Daylight Time, which is Coordinated Universal Time -6 hours, or 2 p.m. GMT. (This means that for pretty much the rest of the world, pre-orders open in the afternoon or evening.)
This is only important if you’re planning on ordering a Sketch Edition. Those orders will open at 2 p.m. GMT on Tuesday and close at 2 p.m. GMT on Wednesday. You will have 24 hours to order one, at which point the only way to get me to sketch in your book is to catch up with me at a convention.
So… set your alarm clocks, or take whatever steps are necessary to ensure that you don’t accidentally sleep through the entire sketch-edition ordering window. And if you DON’T want a sketch edition, well… you’ll have about 4 weeks of pre-ordering “plain old signed books� before we close the system and prepare for shipment.You heard the man. Now get
going!
