Chapter 17, Page 18b: Motivational Speaker Nightmare

Today’s Evil Inc is a true motivational speaker nightmare! Meanwhile, Dr. Muskiday discovers that his evolving emotion-cloud technology is spiraling out of control!

’Ringo Awards — Last Chance

The nomination round for the Ringo Awards closes on Thursday! If you’ve been enjoying Evil Inc, Evil Inc After Dark, or any of my recent work, I’d be honored if you considered tossing a nomination my way. https://go.evil-inc.net/ringo

Bonus Rewards

One of the easiest things to overlook on Patreon is the archive of posts tagged Bonus Rewards — and there’s a lot of good stuff buried in there.

These posts include wallpapers, eComics, downloadable extras, and assorted goodies collected over the years. Better yet, they never expire, so you can dip into the archive anytime and discover a few hidden gems waiting for you.

If you haven’t explored those tags lately, it’s worth a deep dive — https://go.evil-inc.net/patreon

ICYMI

This week's bonus cartoon featured the Fantastic Four.

Well... most of 'em... 

 


Transcript

Panel 1:

Dr. Muskiday, bursting into Cassie Cruz’s office:Cassie! You need to send everybody home — NOW!

Panel 2:

(Inset panel) Cassie Cruz: I can’t do that! The quarterly wellness surveys are due by five o’clock, and if we miss compliance, corporate will send that insufferable motivational speaker again.

Susan, a supervillain motivational speaker, speaks to the assembled villains of Evil Inc: People said I’d never weaponize my childhood trauma. Look at me now.

The whiteboard has a number of phrases written in it:

Failure isn’t falling into a volcano. Failure is falling into the same volcano twice.

A hero is just a villain with better P.R.

Susan Says… Your greatest weakness can become your greatest strength… unless your weakness is silver, garlic, or emotional intimacy.

Panel 3:

Dr. Muskiday: You don’t understand! The micronanos are evolving into MACRONANOES!

Panel 4:

Dr. Muskiday: They’ll control everybody in the office. We have to get everyone out of here before…

Panel 5:

Dr. Muskiday (continues): ...it’s too late.

There is an emoji cloud enveloping Cassie’s entire head.

Alt Text

Five-panel “Evil Inc” comic set inside the Evil Inc office.

Panel 1: Dr. Muskiday bursts into Cassie Cruz’s office in a panic. His insect-like eyes are wide, his arms thrown dramatically into the air as he shouts, “Cassie! You need to send everybody home — NOW!” Cassie sits calmly behind her desk, turned toward him in surprise. Her office contains a laptop, paperwork, and pink file boxes.

Panel 2: An inset panel shows Cassie responding nervously from her office chair: “I can’t do that! The quarterly wellness surveys are due by five o’clock, and if we miss compliance, corporate will send that insufferable motivational speaker again…” The rest of the panel cuts to a seminar room where a stylish supervillain motivational speaker named Susan addresses a bored-looking audience of villains seated in folding chairs. Susan is an older woman with swept-back silver hair, glasses, and a dramatic purple outfit with a high collar. She gestures confidently while declaring, “People said I’d never weaponize my childhood trauma. Look at me now.” Behind her, a whiteboard displays ridiculous motivational slogans, including: “Failure isn’t falling into a volcano. Failure is falling into the same volcano twice,” “A hero is just a villain with better P.R.,” and “Susan Says… Your greatest weakness can become your greatest strength… unless your weakness is silver, garlic, or emotional intimacy.”

Panel 3: Back in Cassie’s office, Dr. Muskiday leans forward urgently, shouting, “You don’t understand! The micronanos are evolving into MACRONANOES!” The word “MACRONANOES!” appears in huge bold lettering dominating the panel. Cassie remains seated behind her desk, still not fully grasping the severity of the situation.

Panel 4: Dr. Muskiday runs frantically across the office floor with his arms spread wide. He warns, “They’ll take control of everybody in the office! We have to get everyone outta here before…” His lab coat and green tie trail behind him dramatically as he rushes toward the reader.

Panel 5: Dr. Muskiday stops in horror and quietly finishes, “…it’s too late.” Across the desk, Cassie’s entire head has been engulfed by a giant pink, fluffy-looking emoji cloud with angry eyes and a furious expression. The cloud hovers where her head should be, implying the evolving nanotech has already taken over her emotions.

Wizard World Philadelphia — Panels

Wizard-World-PhiladelphiaWizard World Philadelphia is right around the corner (May 7-10), and I have a long list of great stuff scheduled for the weekend. Here’s a list of panel discussions that I’ll be hosting throughout the week.

Webcomics 101

THURS., 5 p.m.: Wanna start a webcomic? Sure. We all do. But where to start. Brad Guigar, author of “TheWebcomics Handbook,” — the popular sequel to “How To Make Webcomics” — takes you on a step-by-step tutorial of setting up a site, using social media for promotion, and making money from your work. ROOM 103A

Webcomics Roundtable

FRI., 2:30 p.m.: The world of webcomics has undergone its biggest upheaval since its inception. From ComiXology to Google’s new mobile-friendly criteria, and from Kickstarter to Patreon, there’s an awful lot to keep track of! Webcomics veteran Brad Guigar gathers a roundtable of webcomics notables to talk about these questions and much much more! ROOM 111

Webcomics Workshop

SAT., 5:30 p.m.: Want to get some honest feedback on your webcomic? Webcomics.com’s Brad Guigar has been doing a daily advice-and-tutorial Web site since 2009 — in addition to teaching Sequential Art at Hussian School of Art in Philadelphia. He’ll look at your site and give you solid advice on improving it that you can use right now. To secure a spot, contact brad with your name and the URL of your comic. If time allows, we will be taking participants from the audience and projecting the sites on the big screen. ROOM 105

Kids podcast the darndest things

SUN., 12:30 p.m.: Got a wise-cracking elementary-schooler with a laundry list of opinions on everything from Pokemon to Age of Ultron? Cartoonist Brad Guigar has two of them. So he turned their morning drive to school into a recording session. The HEY COMICS… KIDS podcast has a five-star rating on iTunes and regularly updates with topics ranging from the Marvel cinematic universe to deep-catalog DragonBall Z episodes. Join Brad and junior ‘casters Alex (12) and Max (9) as they talk about what they do and how they do it. ROOM 107