Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
The New Schlock Storefront
Howard has set up a new storefront for
Schlock books.
Before they can open pre-orders for Schlock Mercenary: The Blackness Between they need to run several more
transactions through it — not just to test the basic store functionality and merchant account stuff (they know that works), but to test and refine processes on their end. You know, taking the receipts handed to them by the store and turning out shipping labels.
So… here’s the deal. For a limited time (call it “from now until sometime Monday�) they will be
selling signed copies of Schlock Mercenary: Under New Management (the FIRST book, not the new one) for just $10 + shipping. They would love for you to help them test the store by buying a book (or two!). Maybe you could even apply some of your savings towards a more expensive shipping method, in order to further help them.
Assuming things go well, pre-orders for Schlock Mercenary: The Blackness Between will open on
Tuesday, October 10th. Sketch editions will be pre-orderable as well, from 10am Eastern Time on the 10th until 10am Eastern Time on the 11th.
If things DON’T go well with our testing, they’ll postpone pre-orders for a week or so while they iron out the wrinkles, straighten the kinks, flatten the speed-bumps, and un-hitch the hitches. Watch
his site for details.
