Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
-
Yes, he lives up to his name.
-
Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
-
No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Phables
A new
Phables updates today. This is already one of my favorites. It’s a look at one of my favorite spots in Philadelphia:
Eastern State Penitentiary.Eastern State was built in the 1800s as a new kind of prison. It was built to instill a sense of penance in the prisoner — thus the term “
penitentiary.” To give you a sense of how advanced the building was, every prisoner had indoor plumbing (including a toilet). The President of the United States at the time (John Quincy Adams) could not say the same of his White House.
When Charles Dickens visited America, he wanted to visit two places: Niagra Falls and Eastern State Penitentiary.
It’s also considered one of the most haunted places in America.
Every October, Eastern State converts part of its interior in a “Haunted House” attraction called
Terror Behind the Walls. It’s incredibly popular, with lines snaking around the block every night. The money made this month will fund the excellent historic restoration of the prison throughout the year.
Today’s Phables doesn’t talk about any of that stuff (except the haunted house part). It’s a collection of ghost stories from inside the prison walls.
