Dr. Muskiday tries to turn feelings into data. His emotion-reading technology translates emotions into glowing clouds. As the experiment spirals, it becomes clear that understanding emotions is much messier than measuring them.
Double-Dog Dare!
If you’re looking for something excellent to read, my friend Dave Kellett has a brand-new Kickstarter live right now. It’s packed with never-before-printed comics and is absolutely worth checking out! https://go.evil-inc.net/Double-D
Transcript
(Panel 1)
Holo-Clone Miss Match: Oh, Musky! I’m so PROUD of you!
Dr. Muskiday: You are?
(Panel 2)
Holo-Clone Miss Match: Sure! And I’ll prove it to you.
(She sprays Dr. Muskiday’s “Project: SMILE” mist onto her chest with a “Pft Pft Pft.”)
(Panel 3)
Holo-Clone Miss Match: That’s odd. I’m definitely experiencing a twenty-five percent increase in admiration.
(He looks at her as she stands confidently in front of him.)
(Panel 4)
Dr. Muskiday: (sighs) I know. I wrote your approval algorithm.
(He buries his head in his hands.)
(Panel 5)
Computer (stylized): Disappointment detected. Initiating emotional buoyancy protocols.
(She stands looking at the dejected Muskiday.)
(Panel 6)
Computer (stylized): Activating file: hold_and_squeeze_those_big_puppies.exe
(She touches her lips in contemplation.)
(Panel 7)
(Two holographic dogs appear — Oso the Pug and Digby the Dachshund from the ‘Sheldon’ comic strip— to a now overjoyed Muskiday, who grabs and cuddles them gleefully.)
Holo-Clone Miss Match: Well… I AM proud of you!
Alt Text
Comic strip featuring Holo-Clone Miss Match (a holographic clone of Miss Match) and Dr. Muskiday (a small, humanoid fly in a lab coat) having a humorous interaction. Miss Match tells Muskiday she’s proud of him. She sprays Dr. Muskiday’s “Project: SMILE” mist onto her chest with a “Pft Pft Pft.” It fails to trigger the expected results. She insists that her admiration has increased by 25% even though it’s not indicated by the mist. Muskiday sighs, saying he knows because he wrote her approval algorithm. Detecting his disappointment, Muskiday’s computer initiates an “emotional buoyancy protocol,” executing a file named “hold_and_squeeze_those_big_puppies.exe.” Two holographic dogs appear — Oso the Pug and Digby the Dachshund from the ‘Sheldon’ comic strip — to a now overjoyed Muskiday, who grabs and cuddles them gleefully. The dogs cameo from the "Sheldon" comic strip to promote Dave Kellett’s Kickstarter book, "Double Dog Dare," available at doubledogbook.com
On the Katie Couric indignation
Just a thought about the righteous indignation you’re reading in your daily newspaper today (or more likely, on that newspaper’s Web site) from a guy who has spent more time inside a newsroom than is considered healthy.
But first, a little newspaper primer. In a newspaper, there’s a special category of writer in which one is allowed to write using one’s opinion. The traditional rules of objectivity don’t apply to this writer, called a columnist. The manner in which a newspaper alerts you, the dutiful reader, that the piece you are about to read contains subjective content is to present the writer’s photograph next to his or her piece (which is another rant entirely…remind me sometime…). It’s called a “column sig” in newspaperspeak.
Today, almost every newspaper in America will include a columnist expressing wide-eyed astonishment over the fact that a photo of Katie Couric for a magazine cover was doctored to make Couric look thinner and more attractive. And along with these columns will be column sigs made from photos. And in almost every last damned case, the columnist refused to approve the photograph for print until it had undergone a significant amount of retouching.
Now if that doesn’t make you smile today, nothing will.
