Fairmount City has faced plenty of supervillains before. But this may be its first livestreaming supervillain.
After losing her brief burst of social-media stardom, Hailey re-emerges with a new look, a new name, and a dangerous new relationship with engagement metrics. Now she is Countess Influencia — the Validation Vampire — and every heart, like, and notification seems to make her stronger.
Fairmount News Network tries to cover the attack, but even the news crew can’t stop checking her feed. As hearts start streaming from phones across the city — and around the world — it becomes clear that this crime spree is no longer just a local story.
The world has met Countess Influencia.
And she would very much like you to smash that “Like” button.
Transcript
Panel 1
At the Fairmount News Network studio. Someone off panel whispers, “Psst! Ms. Takahaski! You’re on the air!” Hana Takahaski looks up from her smartphone and says, “Oh! Umm… We’ve got breaking news!”
Panel 2
Hana says, “We’re getting live reports of an attack on the downtown area.” A stream of hearts begins floating from her phone.
Panel 3
The scene widens. Hana is still on her phone. The cameraman is also on his phone. Streams of hearts flow from both phones and from other unseen people in the studio. Hana says, “She may be the first supervillain to livestream her own crime spree! Moreover…” Then, distracted by her phone, she says, “Hold on…” Her phone displays the text: “YAS, Queen!”
Panel 4 (inset)
Exterior view of the Fairmount News Network building. Several streams of hearts flow outward from inside the building and from the street below. Hana says, “Moreover, while Fairmount City is her current target, she has already taken the whole WORLD by storm!”
Panel 5
Hailey, now transformed into Countess Influencia, floats above the city as streams of hearts flow directly into her body. She says, “Look upon Countess Influencia and despair!” Then, in smaller type: “And don’t forget to smash that ‘Like’ button and subscribe!”
Alt text
A five-panel Evil Inc comic introduces Hailey’s new supervillain persona, Countess Influencia. At Fairmount News Network, anchor Hana Takahaski is caught looking at her phone just as she goes on the air with breaking news about an attack downtown. As she reports, red heart icons begin floating from her phone. The scene widens to show the cameraman and others in the studio also absorbed by their phones, with streams of hearts flowing upward. Hana reports that the villain may be the first supervillain to livestream her own crime spree, then gets distracted by a message reading, “YAS, Queen!” Outside the Fairmount News Network building, heart streams pour from the building and the street below. In the final panel, Hailey floats above the city in her new vampire-inspired outfit as Countess Influencia. Streams of hearts flow into her body as she declares, “Look upon Countess Influencia and despair!” She adds, “And don’t forget to smash that ‘Like’ button and subscribe!”
Courting Disaster
There’s no new cartoon this week, but there’s a really great question from a reader.
Hi, I have a pretty big problem and I was wondering if any of you could help me out a bit. See, I’m a guy, pretty handsome, 19 years old (turning 20 in october) but never had a girlfriend. Actually, it’s worse than that, I’ve never even kissed anyone yet, and sometimes it feels like it’s gonna stay that way forever.
I’ve tried asking out women from my daily routine (college), but that always somehow ends up in friendship and nothing else. To be honest, “always” is probably not the right word, because I’ve only really got over enough of my shyness to actually ask women out in the last year, but in the three cases so far, that’s what happened, friendship.
Going to a bar/party/concert and trying to pick up a random woman doesn’t seem like it would work, first because of my shyness and also because I wouldn’t even know what to do or what to say. The whole thing just seems forced and unnatural… Plus, it seems to me that these kinds of places are just for people looking for a one-time thing. While I wouldn’t mind making out with a hot stranger and never seeing her again, what I actually wanted was to have a relationship, you know?
So, what should I do? Are there any good places for a somewhat shy guy to meet single women? Is there any way to do so outside the whole bar/party context, maybe in an environment where there’s less pressure?
Also, you must have noticed by my post that I’m pretty desperate at the moment, but letting people know you’re desperate doesn’t make you much attractive, so I often cover it up, but then people get the impression I’m aloof, distant, even snobbish. What can I do to stay away from both extremes?
I’d appreciate if you could help me out with these questions, it’s really bothering me. I know it’s a lot of stuff and most of it is common sense for most people, but it unfortunately isn’t common sense to me. Like the username says, I have No Idea what to do right now.Go comment.
