Chapter 17 | Page 2b: The Ol’ Battle Ax

The #GuigarChristmasCountdown Rolls On

Every day until Christmas, I’m releasing a brand-new holiday single-panel gag — and this year’s batch has already included:

  • Overworked elves

  • Malfunctioning snowmen

  • Questionable reindeer behavior

  • And Santas who are absolutely phoning it in

Next week’s cartoons keep the absurdity rolling. If you’re counting down to Christmas with me… buckle up. We’re not even halfway to the weirdest ones. Catch them on BlueskyPatreon chat, or the Evil Inc Subreddit.

TRANSCRIPT

Panel 1 (Later)
Hailey: “Come on, Rose! This is a big opportunity for me! Just tell me what Cap’s ‘usual’ is!”

Panel 2
Rose (from inside the storage closet): “Fine. He loves chicken soup — extra crackers — and a tall lemonade.”

Panel 3
Rose: “Say… do you think you could open the door now? There’s not much air in here.”

Panel 4
Hailey: “If you look in the corner, you’ll see an old battle ax.”

Panel 5
Hailey: “There’s no battle ax in— Oh.”

Panel 6
SFX: KRAKK

Panel 7
Rose (calmly): “Thank you!”

Superman’s Box Office

I always wondered who would win in a fight between Superman and Spider-Man…

[YAHOO:] Compared to Spider-Man, Superman looks like an 89-pound weakling–at least when it comes to their respective box-office prowess.

Superman Returns, the long-awaited revival of the Man of Steel franchise, took in an estimated $21 million in its debut Wednesday, an opening that was termed “solid” by one analyst, but an opening that fell short–very short–of standards set by Marvel Comics’ webslinger.

Overall, Superman Returns now ranks eighth on the list of all-time Wednesday debuts, just behind War of the Worlds’ ($21.3 million) and just ahead of Jurassic Park III’s ($19 million).

The all-time Wednesday king? Spider-Man 2, which snared $40.4 million in 2004.

In the annals of all-time biggest openings, regardless of when the opening occurred on the calendar, Superman Returns checks in at 29th place, according to the stats at BoxOfficeMojo.com. Spider-Man 2 checks in at third place; the original Spider-Man, released in 2002, checks in at fifth place ($39.4 million).
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