Fairmount City has faced plenty of supervillains before. But this may be its first livestreaming supervillain.
After losing her brief burst of social-media stardom, Hailey re-emerges with a new look, a new name, and a dangerous new relationship with engagement metrics. Now she is Countess Influencia — the Validation Vampire — and every heart, like, and notification seems to make her stronger.
Fairmount News Network tries to cover the attack, but even the news crew can’t stop checking her feed. As hearts start streaming from phones across the city — and around the world — it becomes clear that this crime spree is no longer just a local story.
The world has met Countess Influencia.
And she would very much like you to smash that “Like” button.
Transcript
Panel 1
At the Fairmount News Network studio. Someone off panel whispers, “Psst! Ms. Takahaski! You’re on the air!” Hana Takahaski looks up from her smartphone and says, “Oh! Umm… We’ve got breaking news!”
Panel 2
Hana says, “We’re getting live reports of an attack on the downtown area.” A stream of hearts begins floating from her phone.
Panel 3
The scene widens. Hana is still on her phone. The cameraman is also on his phone. Streams of hearts flow from both phones and from other unseen people in the studio. Hana says, “She may be the first supervillain to livestream her own crime spree! Moreover…” Then, distracted by her phone, she says, “Hold on…” Her phone displays the text: “YAS, Queen!”
Panel 4 (inset)
Exterior view of the Fairmount News Network building. Several streams of hearts flow outward from inside the building and from the street below. Hana says, “Moreover, while Fairmount City is her current target, she has already taken the whole WORLD by storm!”
Panel 5
Hailey, now transformed into Countess Influencia, floats above the city as streams of hearts flow directly into her body. She says, “Look upon Countess Influencia and despair!” Then, in smaller type: “And don’t forget to smash that ‘Like’ button and subscribe!”
Alt text
A five-panel Evil Inc comic introduces Hailey’s new supervillain persona, Countess Influencia. At Fairmount News Network, anchor Hana Takahaski is caught looking at her phone just as she goes on the air with breaking news about an attack downtown. As she reports, red heart icons begin floating from her phone. The scene widens to show the cameraman and others in the studio also absorbed by their phones, with streams of hearts flowing upward. Hana reports that the villain may be the first supervillain to livestream her own crime spree, then gets distracted by a message reading, “YAS, Queen!” Outside the Fairmount News Network building, heart streams pour from the building and the street below. In the final panel, Hailey floats above the city in her new vampire-inspired outfit as Countess Influencia. Streams of hearts flow into her body as she declares, “Look upon Countess Influencia and despair!” She adds, “And don’t forget to smash that ‘Like’ button and subscribe!”
And on to my gripe for the day. It seems like a pretty standard announcement:
[ASSOCIATED PRESS:] The musical adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ holiday tale “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” will make its Broadway debut this fall at the Hilton Theatre, running from Nov. 8 until Jan. 7, 2007, according to a news release Monday. Previews of the show begin Oct. 25.
The widow of Dr. Seuss, whose real name was Theodor Geisel, will serve as an associate producer of the New York “Grinch” show. Geisel died in 1991. Read more. But read that last paragraph again: Geisel’s widow will be an associate producer; her husband died in 1991.
Y’see, while the good Doctor was
alive, he insisted that his characters not be used in marketing and merchandizing beyond the books. They lived very well off those books. There was plenty to go around on the books. Opening up the
Cat in the Hat and his other creations to licensing and merchandizing options would only serve to cheapen their meaningfulness. There was a couple expections — a few animated features done in collaboration with Chuck Jones, for example — but for the most part, Dr. Seuss was absolutely against using his characters towards any commercial uses such as cereal boxes, T-shirts, lunchboxes, toys, TV shows, movies, etc.
Six years after he dies, his wife, Audrey, opened the floodgates. We’ve seen a steady stream of Seuss-related crappola ever since: A couple of big-budget movie stinkers, a wide array of apparel, and countless goo-gags.
And now a Broadway flop-in-the-making.
Mrs. Seuss: You should be as ashamed, ashamed, ashamed as can be; to defile poor Teddy’s legacy.
