Chapter 17 | Page 9a: “All-Hands Meeting”

Here's a closer look at the Evil Inc emails...


“It’s good ta be da king…”

While watching Mel Brooks: The 99-Year-Old Man, three things jumped out at me and immediately elbowed their way into my creative psyche.

First: Fear. Or rather, the systematic, professional-grade obliteration of fear. Again and again, the documentary circles back to how much of Mel Brooks’ creative power came from refusing to be intimidated — by authority, by convention, by “good taste,” or by the quiet little voice that says don’t do that, people might judge you. That hit me right in the gut.

If fear is the tax we all pay for wanting to make things, Brooks just… stopped paying it.

Second: as the Zoomers would say, that man was horny on main.

I rewatched History of the World, Part I last night, and wow — no easing into it. From cavemen masturbating in the opening moments to wall-to-wall boob jokes, dick jokes, and lust as a driving historical force, the movie commits early and never lets up. It’s joyful. It’s shameless. It’s aggressively adolescent in the best possible way.

And as the World's Okayest Smut Dad, I found it deeply affirming. There’s something comforting about realizing that one of the most celebrated comedy legends of all time built his empire by saying, “Yes, but what if we made it dirtier?”

Third (and finally): whatever happened to Mary-Margaret Humes?

Va-va-va voom. That is all.

Taken together, it’s a reminder I didn’t know I needed: Fear is optional. Horniness is timeless. And comedy works best when it’s unembarrassed about what it loves.

Which is… honestly a pretty solid Evil Inc mission statement when you think about it. 


Transcript

Panel 1
Caption (yellow box):
The next day…

Dr. Muskiday (entering the nearly empty office, which is empty, speaking):
Where is everybody?!
Didn’t they get my email??

Panel 2
Giant Tess (holding up a red book):
Here’s a guide to proper terminology in the workplace.
You’ll want to read it.

Panel 3
Giant Tess, continues in a narration box:
“Desi and ‘Dragon’ took one look at the subject line and got exactly the wrong idea.”

Inset image below narration:
An email inbox is shown with the subject line highlighted:
All-hands meeting — NOW!!

Other visible email subjects include:

  • “Reminder: It’s Casual Fridays, Not ‘Casualty’”
  • “Who Keeps Feeding the Lava Lamp?”
  • “RE: Are Monologues Considered Testimony?”
  • “Janitor’s Closet…?”
  • “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All”

Panel 4
Giant Tess’ narration (yellow box):
“When I caught them, I told them to beat it.”

Giant Tess (pointing angrily):
(No dialogue)

Desdemona and Iron Dragon are caught mid-makeout on the floor.

Panel 5
Giant Tess:
I’ll… um… need that book after you’re finished with it.


DETAILED ALT TEXT

A five-panel comic set inside the Evil Inc corporate office.

Panel 1:
  A yellow narration box reads “THE NEXT DAY…”.  A wide shot of an empty open-plan office filled with gray cubicles, rolling office chairs, desktop computers, and filing cabinets. Dr. Muskiday — a short, fly creature in a lab jacket — walks into a nearly empty office. Giant Tess is standing there, looking annoyed. Dr. Musiday says, “WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!” followed by “DIDN’T THEY GET MY EMAIL??”

Panel 2:
A closer shot of Giant Tess holding up a red paperback book titled “Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide.” Dr. Muskiday’s large compound eyes peer up from the bottom of the panel. Tess calmly explains, “HERE’S A GUIDE TO PROPER TERMINOLOGY IN THE WORKPLACE. YOU’LL WANT TO READ IT.”

Panel 3:
Giant Tess’ dialogue is continued in a yellow narration box: “DESI AND ‘DRAGON’ TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE SUBJECT LINE AND GOT EXACTLY THE WRONG IDEA.”

 Below is a close-up of an email inbox. The highlighted message reads: “ALL-HANDS MEETING — NOW!!” Other humorous subject lines fill the inbox, including reminders about Casual Fridays, questions about lava lamps, legal monologues, janitor’s closets, and an email chain titled “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All.”

Panel 4:
Another yellow narration box continues Giant Tess’ dialogue: “WHEN I CAUGHT THEM, I TOLD THEM TO BEAT IT.”

 The scene shows Giant Tess pointing angrily at two coworkers on the office floor between cubicles. Desdemona, a red-skinned devil woman with small horns and a curvy build, is sitting in Iron Dragon’s lap. Iron Dragon, a muscular man in dark clothing with dragon-themed elements, has his arms around her. They are clearly caught mid-makeout and look startled and embarrassed.

Panel 5:
Giant Tess stands with Dr. Muskiday beside her, who is now holding the red Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide. Tess looks awkward and thoughtful, one finger raised to her chin, as she says, “I’LL… UM… NEED THAT BOOK AFTER YOU’RE FINISHED WITH IT.”

Patreon update

My Patreon supporters have seen my new comic strip. Well… kinda. US0M_thumbSee, I’ve had this idea for a new comic strip — a spin-off of Evil Inc in a weird way — that I’ve been batting around for a while. But before Patreon, I’ve never had much incentive to develop it. However, since I’m doing bonus cartoons (my goal is to hit 3 a week), I can justify the time that I put into working on that much more easily! Although I haven’t decided on a title yet, the concept involves taking the characters of Oscar and Oliver out of Evil Inc and putting them in a traditional family strip. The “real” Oscar and Oliver might stay with Evil Inc… these would be different kids — one a superhero and the other a supervillain — being raised by “civilian” parents. In fact, the two boys would be the only “supers” in the comic. If you follow me on Twitter, you know that some of the funniest stuff I post there comes from my two sons, ages 12 and 8. And, truthfully, they already supply the inspiration for Oscar and Oliver. But I get an impression from my readers that they find the Oscar-and-Oliver storylines to be an interruption in what they expect from Evil Inc. And, honestly, I’d like to see what happens when these two take center stage completely. So… I’m working on it. And my Patreon supporters — for as little as one dollar a month — are getting a front-row seat. I’m posting my thought process, pages from my sketchbook (something I’ve rarely — if ever — done), and finished strips. I posted the first completed strip last week, and I have another prepped for next week. How long will it go on? I don’t know. I’m keeping it open, and I’m not making promises. This might be a regular part of the bonus cartoons I’m planning to stock my Patreon feed with. Or it might be something I work on in spurts. It might become a webcomic someday, or it might become a Patreon-exclusive. I’m going to see where it takes me. Aliens_thumbAnyway, last week I revealed all of the bonus cartoons my Patreon backers saw. This week, I’m showing thumbnails to two of them (including the one above and the one to the right) and revealing one (scroll down). If you’ve been thinking about backing me on Patreon, this is the perfect time. That freaking Creations feed is bursting with extra content and conversations! And the more you give, the more you get — $5 gets you all of this plus a free monthly eComic in which you can read all of the upcoming month’s Evil Inc strips in one file PLUS bonus material from the archive! And all backers get access to the Creations feed that features the bonus strips. Red_SonjaThis comic is another reason I’m really loving Patreon. I originally pitched the idea above to Tales From the Con, a weekly comic I write for the Emerald City Comicon Web site. It wasn’t the right fit for them, but I still liked the idea. Before starting Patreon, I really didn’t have a reason (or an outlet) for an idea like this. In the end, I think it’s a very good cartoon. Wanna see more like that? Back me on Patreon.