Chapter 17 | Page 3b: Hot Stuff

Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.

Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.

Transcript

Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…

Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)

Panel 2

Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}

Panel 3

Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.

Panel 4

Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.

Panel 5

Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod

After Dark

This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.

  • Yes, he lives up to his name.

  • Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.

  • No, the North Pole will never be the same.

I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!

Original comic art auction

As I do from time to time, I’m putting some of my original art up for grabs on eBay. If you’ve always wanted an original piece for yourself, this is the perfect time — each original starts at a ridiculously low 99¢! Go check out the available strips here or use the helpful widget below. Included are: • The spectacular TV series, “Breaking Bad,” is skewered in this parody, “Baking Bread.” This is the original art from “Evil Inc” a daily comic strip by Brad Guigar. It appeared on the Web on Nov. 11, 2013 and in newspapers afterward. • A lawyer joke and Nosferatu — two for the price of one! This is the original art from “Evil Inc” a daily comic strip by Brad Guigar. It appeared on the Web on Jan. 21, 2014 and in newspapers afterward • The Real Housewives of Transylvania — including the brides of Frankenstein, Dracula and the Mummy — gossip about their husbands. This is the original art from “Evil Inc” a daily comic strip by Brad Guigar. It appeared on the Web on July 25, 2013 and in newspapers afterward. • The Foamy Breaker — a bar where the sexy scientists hang out — includes nods to Tony Stark, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Bobak Ferdowsi and “Breaking Bad’s” Walter White. This is the original art from “Evil Inc” a daily comic strip by Brad Guigar. It appeared on the Web and in newspapers afterward. • The Real Housewives of Transylvania — including the brides of Frankenstein, Dracula and the Mummy — gossip about their famous husbands. This is the original art from “Evil Inc” a daily comic strip by Brad Guigar. It appeared on the Web on July 24, 2013 and in newspapers afterward. • The Memo, a scentient sheet of paper explains health insurance to his lackey, a Vincent Price lookalike. This is the original art from “Evil Inc” a daily comic strip by Brad Guigar. It appeared on the Web on Sept. 19, 2013 and in newspapers afterward. • The Real Housewives of Transylvania! In this episode, a sexy werewolf woman talks about her hot date. This is the original art from “Evil Inc” a daily comic strip by Brad Guigar. It appeared on the Web on July 19, 2013 and in newspapers afterward. • This might be the most sexy threesome of them all. This is the original art from “Evil Inc” a daily comic strip by Brad Guigar. It appeared on the Web on March 7, 2014 and in newspapers afterward. • This cute kid joke is from a storyline called “Things my kids said,” based on real-life conversations with my two boys. This is the original art from “Evil Inc” a daily comic strip by Brad Guigar. It appeared on the Web on Oct. 29, 2012 and in newspapers afterward. Art is on heavy bristol board with archival ink and blue-pencil sketch underneath. Signed by the artist!