Chapter 17 | Page 9a: “All-Hands Meeting”

Here's a closer look at the Evil Inc emails...


“It’s good ta be da king…”

While watching Mel Brooks: The 99-Year-Old Man, three things jumped out at me and immediately elbowed their way into my creative psyche.

First: Fear. Or rather, the systematic, professional-grade obliteration of fear. Again and again, the documentary circles back to how much of Mel Brooks’ creative power came from refusing to be intimidated — by authority, by convention, by “good taste,” or by the quiet little voice that says don’t do that, people might judge you. That hit me right in the gut.

If fear is the tax we all pay for wanting to make things, Brooks just… stopped paying it.

Second: as the Zoomers would say, that man was horny on main.

I rewatched History of the World, Part I last night, and wow — no easing into it. From cavemen masturbating in the opening moments to wall-to-wall boob jokes, dick jokes, and lust as a driving historical force, the movie commits early and never lets up. It’s joyful. It’s shameless. It’s aggressively adolescent in the best possible way.

And as the World's Okayest Smut Dad, I found it deeply affirming. There’s something comforting about realizing that one of the most celebrated comedy legends of all time built his empire by saying, “Yes, but what if we made it dirtier?”

Third (and finally): whatever happened to Mary-Margaret Humes?

Va-va-va voom. That is all.

Taken together, it’s a reminder I didn’t know I needed: Fear is optional. Horniness is timeless. And comedy works best when it’s unembarrassed about what it loves.

Which is… honestly a pretty solid Evil Inc mission statement when you think about it. 


Transcript

Panel 1
Caption (yellow box):
The next day…

Dr. Muskiday (entering the nearly empty office, which is empty, speaking):
Where is everybody?!
Didn’t they get my email??

Panel 2
Giant Tess (holding up a red book):
Here’s a guide to proper terminology in the workplace.
You’ll want to read it.

Panel 3
Giant Tess, continues in a narration box:
“Desi and ‘Dragon’ took one look at the subject line and got exactly the wrong idea.”

Inset image below narration:
An email inbox is shown with the subject line highlighted:
All-hands meeting — NOW!!

Other visible email subjects include:

  • “Reminder: It’s Casual Fridays, Not ‘Casualty’”
  • “Who Keeps Feeding the Lava Lamp?”
  • “RE: Are Monologues Considered Testimony?”
  • “Janitor’s Closet…?”
  • “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All”

Panel 4
Giant Tess’ narration (yellow box):
“When I caught them, I told them to beat it.”

Giant Tess (pointing angrily):
(No dialogue)

Desdemona and Iron Dragon are caught mid-makeout on the floor.

Panel 5
Giant Tess:
I’ll… um… need that book after you’re finished with it.


DETAILED ALT TEXT

A five-panel comic set inside the Evil Inc corporate office.

Panel 1:
  A yellow narration box reads “THE NEXT DAY…”.  A wide shot of an empty open-plan office filled with gray cubicles, rolling office chairs, desktop computers, and filing cabinets. Dr. Muskiday — a short, fly creature in a lab jacket — walks into a nearly empty office. Giant Tess is standing there, looking annoyed. Dr. Musiday says, “WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!” followed by “DIDN’T THEY GET MY EMAIL??”

Panel 2:
A closer shot of Giant Tess holding up a red paperback book titled “Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide.” Dr. Muskiday’s large compound eyes peer up from the bottom of the panel. Tess calmly explains, “HERE’S A GUIDE TO PROPER TERMINOLOGY IN THE WORKPLACE. YOU’LL WANT TO READ IT.”

Panel 3:
Giant Tess’ dialogue is continued in a yellow narration box: “DESI AND ‘DRAGON’ TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE SUBJECT LINE AND GOT EXACTLY THE WRONG IDEA.”

 Below is a close-up of an email inbox. The highlighted message reads: “ALL-HANDS MEETING — NOW!!” Other humorous subject lines fill the inbox, including reminders about Casual Fridays, questions about lava lamps, legal monologues, janitor’s closets, and an email chain titled “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All.”

Panel 4:
Another yellow narration box continues Giant Tess’ dialogue: “WHEN I CAUGHT THEM, I TOLD THEM TO BEAT IT.”

 The scene shows Giant Tess pointing angrily at two coworkers on the office floor between cubicles. Desdemona, a red-skinned devil woman with small horns and a curvy build, is sitting in Iron Dragon’s lap. Iron Dragon, a muscular man in dark clothing with dragon-themed elements, has his arms around her. They are clearly caught mid-makeout and look startled and embarrassed.

Panel 5:
Giant Tess stands with Dr. Muskiday beside her, who is now holding the red Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide. Tess looks awkward and thoughtful, one finger raised to her chin, as she says, “I’LL… UM… NEED THAT BOOK AFTER YOU’RE FINISHED WITH IT.”

Custom LEGO minifig kit

Custom LEGO minifig kit
This is our custom LEGO minifig kit. It includes a clear gloss primer (to help the paint adhere to the plastic figures), acrylic paint, a paint well, small brushes, and several minifig parts I found on eBay. I also included a soldering stand to help with the detail work.
So, my younger son turns eight this week. He’s been after me for a while to help him make custom LEGO minifigures for the characters that are unavailable from LEGO (or hard to find). This is what I came up with. I found out that I could buy a bunch of random LEGO minifig parts on eBay for a really good price. So bought a bunch of heads, torsos, hands, arms and legs. Then, I picked up some acrylic paint, a paint well and some small brushes. I’m using a clear paint primer to try to get the acrylic to stick to the plastic (and then protect it when it’s dry). I organized them in a crafter’s box with adjustable compartments. Finally, since I have no illusions as to who’s going to be working alongside him during this, I picked up a soldering stand. It’s a weighted stand with a magnifying glass, a small LED light, and two adjutable alligator clips. I figure this will make it easier to hold the small parts steady while we paint those teeny tiny details. I don’t think we’re going to give Evil Inc arch-henchman David Oakes a run for his money anytime soon, but I’m really looking forward to the time I get to spend with my kid letting out imaginations run wild. I’ll be sure to post some of the results here as soon as we get our first attempts done.