Chapter 17 | Page 9a: “All-Hands Meeting”

Here's a closer look at the Evil Inc emails...


“It’s good ta be da king…”

While watching Mel Brooks: The 99-Year-Old Man, three things jumped out at me and immediately elbowed their way into my creative psyche.

First: Fear. Or rather, the systematic, professional-grade obliteration of fear. Again and again, the documentary circles back to how much of Mel Brooks’ creative power came from refusing to be intimidated — by authority, by convention, by “good taste,” or by the quiet little voice that says don’t do that, people might judge you. That hit me right in the gut.

If fear is the tax we all pay for wanting to make things, Brooks just… stopped paying it.

Second: as the Zoomers would say, that man was horny on main.

I rewatched History of the World, Part I last night, and wow — no easing into it. From cavemen masturbating in the opening moments to wall-to-wall boob jokes, dick jokes, and lust as a driving historical force, the movie commits early and never lets up. It’s joyful. It’s shameless. It’s aggressively adolescent in the best possible way.

And as the World's Okayest Smut Dad, I found it deeply affirming. There’s something comforting about realizing that one of the most celebrated comedy legends of all time built his empire by saying, “Yes, but what if we made it dirtier?”

Third (and finally): whatever happened to Mary-Margaret Humes?

Va-va-va voom. That is all.

Taken together, it’s a reminder I didn’t know I needed: Fear is optional. Horniness is timeless. And comedy works best when it’s unembarrassed about what it loves.

Which is… honestly a pretty solid Evil Inc mission statement when you think about it. 


Transcript

Panel 1
Caption (yellow box):
The next day…

Dr. Muskiday (entering the nearly empty office, which is empty, speaking):
Where is everybody?!
Didn’t they get my email??

Panel 2
Giant Tess (holding up a red book):
Here’s a guide to proper terminology in the workplace.
You’ll want to read it.

Panel 3
Giant Tess, continues in a narration box:
“Desi and ‘Dragon’ took one look at the subject line and got exactly the wrong idea.”

Inset image below narration:
An email inbox is shown with the subject line highlighted:
All-hands meeting — NOW!!

Other visible email subjects include:

  • “Reminder: It’s Casual Fridays, Not ‘Casualty’”
  • “Who Keeps Feeding the Lava Lamp?”
  • “RE: Are Monologues Considered Testimony?”
  • “Janitor’s Closet…?”
  • “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All”

Panel 4
Giant Tess’ narration (yellow box):
“When I caught them, I told them to beat it.”

Giant Tess (pointing angrily):
(No dialogue)

Desdemona and Iron Dragon are caught mid-makeout on the floor.

Panel 5
Giant Tess:
I’ll… um… need that book after you’re finished with it.


DETAILED ALT TEXT

A five-panel comic set inside the Evil Inc corporate office.

Panel 1:
  A yellow narration box reads “THE NEXT DAY…”.  A wide shot of an empty open-plan office filled with gray cubicles, rolling office chairs, desktop computers, and filing cabinets. Dr. Muskiday — a short, fly creature in a lab jacket — walks into a nearly empty office. Giant Tess is standing there, looking annoyed. Dr. Musiday says, “WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!” followed by “DIDN’T THEY GET MY EMAIL??”

Panel 2:
A closer shot of Giant Tess holding up a red paperback book titled “Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide.” Dr. Muskiday’s large compound eyes peer up from the bottom of the panel. Tess calmly explains, “HERE’S A GUIDE TO PROPER TERMINOLOGY IN THE WORKPLACE. YOU’LL WANT TO READ IT.”

Panel 3:
Giant Tess’ dialogue is continued in a yellow narration box: “DESI AND ‘DRAGON’ TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE SUBJECT LINE AND GOT EXACTLY THE WRONG IDEA.”

 Below is a close-up of an email inbox. The highlighted message reads: “ALL-HANDS MEETING — NOW!!” Other humorous subject lines fill the inbox, including reminders about Casual Fridays, questions about lava lamps, legal monologues, janitor’s closets, and an email chain titled “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All.”

Panel 4:
Another yellow narration box continues Giant Tess’ dialogue: “WHEN I CAUGHT THEM, I TOLD THEM TO BEAT IT.”

 The scene shows Giant Tess pointing angrily at two coworkers on the office floor between cubicles. Desdemona, a red-skinned devil woman with small horns and a curvy build, is sitting in Iron Dragon’s lap. Iron Dragon, a muscular man in dark clothing with dragon-themed elements, has his arms around her. They are clearly caught mid-makeout and look startled and embarrassed.

Panel 5:
Giant Tess stands with Dr. Muskiday beside her, who is now holding the red Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide. Tess looks awkward and thoughtful, one finger raised to her chin, as she says, “I’LL… UM… NEED THAT BOOK AFTER YOU’RE FINISHED WITH IT.”

Eakins Oval Pop-Up Drive-In Theater

Awesome Fest's Drive-In Theater
The pop-up drive-in movie theater screen. (That’s the Philadelphia Museum of Art in the background.)
Here’s yet another reason why I freaking love Philadelphia: The Eakins Oval Pop-Up Drive-In Theater. So here’s the deal: Eakins Oval is a traffic circle on the northeast end of the Benjamin Franklin Parkway. And, usually, it’s a pretty busy thoroughfare. It’s right in front of the Philadelphia Museum of Art (the steps of which were the setting for one of the training montages in “Rocky”). It’s also a small park area anchored by the gorgeous Washington Monument fountain. The southeast portion of the oval is a parking lot (which is good to know if you plan on visiting the museum. This is what it usually looks like (as seen from the Art Museum steps. This fall, The Awesome Fest arranged to take over Eakins Oval and convert it to a drive-in movie theater on a series of Friday nights. Double-features are planned, and high-end food trucks come in to handle concessions. They even have the Philly Roller Girls roller derby team doing car-service concessions. Tickets are $20 apiece if you come by car, but lawn-seating is free. Last Friday night, the double-feature was “King Kong vs. Godzilla” and “Pacific Rim.” The former holds a soft spot in my heart as a childhood favorite, and all of us were looking forward to seeing the latter for the first time. We walked to the Oval with out lawn chairs and blankets, bought some hot chocolate and tater tots from the Tot Cart, and settled in for the movie. Awesome Fest’s Josh Goldbloom came out to welcome the sizeable crowd with the brief introduction to the drive-in movie theater concept itself, as well as a short talk-up on both movies. Then a guy dressed as Godzilla came from behind the movie screen and fought with a guy dressed as an ape.
Eakins_Drive_in_3
You’ve got to love an organization that plans pre-movie entertainment like this.
Then, “King Kong vs Godzilla” flickered to life on the screen. I’ve seen this dozens of times, but it was a special thrill to watch it in this setting with my two boys. This is definitely a movie-watching experience that is enhanced by watching it as pert of an audience. Kids thrilled at Godzilla’s first on-screen appearance, and adults guffawed at the unintentional campiness that lies at the heart of the movie’s charm. And “Pacific Rim”? All four of us were captivated by that one. We hadn’t seen it yet, and that movie had us riveted from the very first scene. It just came out on DVD and Blu Ray, and I strongly recommend it. The female lead () was particularly noticeable as a rare occurrence in action flicks — a character that has integral importance in the story, rather than being eye candy. The plot was tight. The action sequences were unbelievably well done, and the moments of comic relief were added at just the right moment (and in just the right doses). It was well past midnight by the time the Guigars walked home — chattering all the way about the movies and what a great experience it was to see them together on the lawn of Eakins Oval on a brisk October night. Awesome Fest has several more Friday nights lined up (shows start at 7:30 p.m.): • October 25: Grease & The Blob • November 1: The Car & Christine • November 8: Arachnophobia & Big Ass Spider! • November 22: Planes, Trains & Automobiles & Santa Claus Conquers the Martians … and all because a group of creative Philadelphians looked at Eakins Oval and said “what if…”