Chapter 17, Page 26b: Massive Power Surge

Dr. Muskiday was this close to finding a way to defeat the macronanos.

Then came a massive power surge.

Now the macronanos are suddenly swimming in raw emotional energy, Muskiday has to redouble his efforts, and nobody at Evil Inc can figure out where all that extra power came from.

Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, Countess Influencia has a very simple request for Captain Heroic:

“Kiss me.”

Mystery solved.


Evil Inc After Dark: Full Stream Ahead collects three complete Evil Inc storylines — along with their adults-only “after dark” counterparts. These spicy chapters peel back the curtain on what happens when superhero satire and workplace comedy take a decidedly NSFW turn.

• Heroic Revenge — Captain Heroic and Miss Match try to build trust while Commander Heroic continues to loom over their relationship. Meanwhile, Lightning Lady falls for a mysterious new face at Evil Inc whose past may prove explosive.

• Homeward Bound — Desi’s time on Earth is almost up unless she can pull off one major act of mischief. Her solution looks suspiciously like an OnlyFans account. Meanwhile, Cap and Miss Match discover that Commander Heroic still has opinions about their love life.

• Long-Lost Fiends — Cassie Cruz’s superhero temp agency is booming, but Thea Rhutman has villainous plans of her own. And Lightning Lady finds herself tempted by an old flame — a cheerful, musclebound minotaur.

And that’s not all. Full Stream Ahead includes the brand-new bonus story “Loads of Love,” an unrated adventure never before collected in print. When Dynasty and Battalion discover their superpowers can be passed along genetically, they decide it may be time to start a new kind of super team — with a little hands-on assistance from their friends.

Packed with superhero satire, workplace comedy, romantic complications, and plenty of adults-only bonus material, Full Stream Ahead is the next oversized installment of Evil Inc After Dark.


Transcript

Panel 1:
Countess: You heard me, Cap… I said ‘kiss me!”

Panel 2
Captain Heroic leans forward to kiss

Panel 3:
Countess’ phone releases confetti, breaking up the kiss: Congratulations! 500.1k followers!

Panel 4:
Countess: That’s… that’s half-a-million!
Captain Heroic: How many followers would make you truly happy?

Panel 5:
Countess: …more.

Panel 6:
Narration box: Back at Evil Inc
Sound effect: Arrrrrggghhhh!

Panel 7:
Holo-Clone Miss Match: What’s the matter, snookums?
Dr. Muskiday: I was so close to finding a way to defeat the macronanos!

Panel 8:
What happened?

Panel 9:
Dr. Muskiday: They’ve had a massive power surge. I’ll need to re-double my efforts!

Panel 10:
HoloClone Miss Match: Where did they get so much raw emotional power?!

Panel 11:
Miss Match (controlled by a macronano) is watching the Countess’ livestream as Hailey asks Cap to kiss her.


Alt text

Five-panel Evil Inc comic. Back at Evil Inc, HoloClone Miss Match asks Dr. Muskiday what is wrong. Muskiday says he was close to finding a way to defeat the macronanos, but they have experienced a massive power surge. He says he will need to redouble his efforts and wonders where they got so much raw emotional power. In the final panel, a macronano reacts violently to Countess Influencia’s offscreen command, “Kiss me,” while HoloClone Miss Match asks whether this means she can use her Mentos bikini.

Agents of SHIELD

I was getting that old-time Buffy feeling for a while there.

See, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was the last time my wife and I followed a TV series together. I worked nights, so we’d tape it and watch it together on the weekends. We watched almost every episode together. Then we’d buy the seasons on DVD and re-watch them.

After we had kids, that kinda evaporated. We didn’t have the time for such a luxury at first, and, later, the TV (when it was on) was tuned to stuff that was age-appropriate for the boys.

They’re older now, and I no longer work a night shift at the newspaper, so it seemed as if the stars were lining right up when a Whedon-helmed Agents of SHIELD TV series was announced. My kids were gargantuan fans of the Marvel movies — and my wife liked ’em, too. A Marvel-spinoff TV series with the Whedon touch?

This was going to be the first time the entire Guigar family was planning to gather in front of the TV to follow a TV series.

Ever.

They had us a “Welcome to Level 7.”

Welcome to LEvel 7

All of those little Joss Whedon touches in the pilot that brought back memories of Buffy for the adults (and Avengers for the boys) just sparkled. The dialogue snapped and the story crackled briskly through to a satisfying introduction to a promising series.

So last night, my betrothed rushed home from yoga class after pulling off her first headstand, popcorn was popped, homework was completed, showers were taken and the kitchen was cleaned after my triumphant presentation of thick smoked pork chops we brought home from the West Side Market during last week’s trip to Ohio for a wedding.

The 7yo was the first one to bail. The LEGOs were calling and he answered. Smart kid.

As we trudged from one scene to another, it got downright painful. Time and again, the dialogue would go through a beautiful set-up only to deliver a cliched dud. Opportunity after opportunity was lost. Where we were expecting that electric delivery from last week, we were given a formulaic run-through of worn-out idioms and tropes.

Remember “Welcome to Level 7”? What made that scene work was the immediate self-conscious nod by Agent Coulson, who crisply retorts an apology for standing out of sight in the shadows during the opening of the scene, “…I think there’s a bulb out.” That’s unexpected and charming and endearing. What did we get in episode two? “Don’t call me ‘Cavalry’ ” and “I told you never to call me that [‘Cavalry’]” — followed by… nothing.

All set-up / no delivery.

I guess the bright idea to hand the writing duties to Joss Whedon’s brother and sister-in-law didn’t exactly pay off.

By the end, my wife was telling me how good Sleepy Hollow was, and my son — so much like his old man — was insisting that it was going to get better.

One way or another, I doubt we’ll be in a rush to get in front of the TV next Tuesday. That is, unless my wife lets me pull out those old Buffy DVDs.