Chapter 17 | Page 3b: Hot Stuff

Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.

Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.

Transcript

Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…

Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)

Panel 2

Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}

Panel 3

Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.

Panel 4

Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.

Panel 5

Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod

After Dark

This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.

  • Yes, he lives up to his name.

  • Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.

  • No, the North Pole will never be the same.

I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!

Courting Disaster: Oct. 16, 2009

Courting Disaster, my weekly comic about sex, love, and relationships updates every Friday. You’ll laugh your pants off. This week’s question… A reader writes… Q: Is there such a thing as domestic abuse of a husband? Six times in the three years we’ve been married my wife has struck me. She has a terrible temper. She breaks dishes, throws them at me and hits me with her fists. I am bigger and stronger and able to fend her off. I have never hit her back. These rages are most often provoked by jealousy. I have many women friends, but I have been true to my wife. She refuses to get anger-management counseling and says her outbursts are hormonal. She says she loves me and seems genuinely sorry after these attacks. But I am worried she may hurt me or, worse, that I will have to hurt her in self-defense.   Don’t answer here… go on over to the CD site and offer some advice.