Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
If you’ve noticed the new ads running on the Evil Inc site, you’ve probably already guessed that I’m welcoming a new sponsor! And I have to be honest, I’ve been champing at the bit to unleash these two ads on you guys. I’m ultra-happy with the way they turned out. In case you didn’t notice them, one ad appears to the right and the other one is
here.
Check ’em out.
Star Pirates is a text-based browser game in which 23rd-Century whumans live around the solar system, depending on nanobots to keep themselves alive. Life is hard; resources are scarce, and many humans have turned to piracy. You are one of those pirates.
This is brought to you by the same folks who did SpyBattle —
a previous sponsor of the site — and, as with SpyBattle, there will be a special “Evil Inc”-themed faction of Star Pirates if you’d like to play!
You will be playing a pirate under the command of Evil Atom (obviously, a parallel-universe Evil Atom) — a character that I will be controlling when I play the game.
And did I mention it’s free?
The game is pretty simple to catch on to. If you get stuck, be sure to read the emails in your Star Pirates Inbox. And take advantage of the friendly Greeters who will e-mail you and ask if you need assistance.
One warning: It’s deceptively addictive. I sign on with my iPhone (easy peasey) to get a quick couple rounds in whenever I have a couple spare moments.
To join the Evil Inc faction, either click on one of the Star Pirates ads on the Evil Inc site, or
click here.
See you in the future!
