Chapter 17 | Page 2b: The Ol’ Battle Ax

The #GuigarChristmasCountdown Rolls On

Every day until Christmas, I’m releasing a brand-new holiday single-panel gag — and this year’s batch has already included:

  • Overworked elves

  • Malfunctioning snowmen

  • Questionable reindeer behavior

  • And Santas who are absolutely phoning it in

Next week’s cartoons keep the absurdity rolling. If you’re counting down to Christmas with me… buckle up. We’re not even halfway to the weirdest ones. Catch them on BlueskyPatreon chat, or the Evil Inc Subreddit.

TRANSCRIPT

Panel 1 (Later)
Hailey: “Come on, Rose! This is a big opportunity for me! Just tell me what Cap’s ‘usual’ is!”

Panel 2
Rose (from inside the storage closet): “Fine. He loves chicken soup — extra crackers — and a tall lemonade.”

Panel 3
Rose: “Say… do you think you could open the door now? There’s not much air in here.”

Panel 4
Hailey: “If you look in the corner, you’ll see an old battle ax.”

Panel 5
Hailey: “There’s no battle ax in— Oh.”

Panel 6
SFX: KRAKK

Panel 7
Rose (calmly): “Thank you!”

Review: Wednesday Comics


Last Friday’s edition of the Philadelphia Inquirer had an advance obituary of sorts. It was a story about how a comic like the lushly illustrated serial strip, Hal Foster’s Prince Valiant, just can’t survive in today’s newspaper climate. From the story:
“The strip demands enough space to accommodate its sweep and detail, but to cut costs, many newspapers have reduced the size available from the full page of its prime to a half, quarter, or even smaller part of a page.”
Which makes the success of DC Comics’ Wednesday Comics so perplexing. In case you’re not familiar, Wednesday Comics is printed in the form of a Sunday funnies section. It’s printed on full broadsheet newsprint — about 14-by-20 inches. (Click on the image to the right for sample) And it’s nothing but page-after-page of full-page, standalone comics. One page is a Superman story, the next is a Metamorpho saga. All are continued next week.

And it’s one of the hottest things in comics right now. Heck, there’s even one title, Kamandi that is a devoted homage to Foster’s style of storytelling.

Perplexing, I tell ya. I can’t figure it out. Maybe DC is using special ink. I mean, they get my #3.99 every week for the thing. And that’s twice what I pay for an entire Sunday paper.