Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Marquis of Death: Making a Big Splash on the Marvel Universe, the Marquis is the One who taught Dr. Doom the ABCs of evil. (
A is for arsenic, B is for bondage, C is for Creature… In FF #566, Doom prepares Latveria for the arrival of the Marquis, literally strewing his path his roses. Upon arrival, the Marquis obliterates Von Doom in a firey onslaught. In the opening of #567, Doom has defeated the otherworldly Marquis after a six-week war. He has unveiled a statue honoring Mr. Fantastic, who fell in the six-week battle. Sue Richards is now his devoted wife. And pregnant. And Ben Grim is his trusted chum.
Life is good for the doctor.
Until, of course, the Big Reveal. The alternate reality was the creation of the Marquis of Death, who merely gave it to Dr. Doom so he could rip it away. Doom is still suffering under the superior might of his teacher, who finally disposes of his failed pupil somewhere in the Pliocene Age.
Having settled detention once and for all, the Marquis picks up Doom’s metal mask and assumes the role of the New Dr. Doom. Item One on the lesson plan: Destroy the FF once and for all.
The M. of D. explodes onto Marvel’s black-cape scene with a respectful nine.
All the further to fall when Von Doom inevitably kicks his bony keister.
Fantastic Four #567
Creative Team: Story: Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch. Art: Cam Smith and three others.
