Chapter 17 | Page 3b: Hot Stuff

Posted on December 19, 2025 by Brad Guigar

Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.

Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.

Transcript

Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…

Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)

Panel 2

Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}

Panel 3

Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.

Panel 4

Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.

Panel 5

Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod

After Dark

This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.

  • Yes, he lives up to his name.

  • Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.

  • No, the North Pole will never be the same.

I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!

Review: Secret Six #9

Posted on May 26, 2009 by Brad Guigar

Writer: Gail Simone
Pencils: Nicola Scott
Inks: Doug Hazlewood
Colors: Jason Wright
Letters: Travis Lanham

Between the two major villain-centric titles being offered by Marvel and DC, it’s impossible to pick the better series. Thunderbolts consistently delivers a stunningly realistic look at a band of covert operatives under the leadership of Marvel’s top bad guy, Norman Osborn. And Gail Simone’s Secret Six brings the deft characterization and philosophical discussions of villainy that a guy like me really grooves on.

This week, it’s character over story as Secret Six bests the T’bolts with a delightful story of Catman, Bane and Ragdoll thwarting a planned series of kidnappings in Gotham city out of respect for the fallen Batman.

All the while, they have a thinly veiled discussion about the possibility of either Catman or Bane replacing the Dark Knight in Gotham.

As Ragdoll, dressed as Robin, interjects hilarious asides.

This is a beautiful issue. Scott and Hazlewood even work in nod to the 60s TV series with a “sideways-rapelling-down-a-building-on-a-batrope” scene.

As they thwart kidnapping after kidnapping, Bane and Catman discuss the very meaning of villainy in a comic-book world — and how closely these two villains are to ascend the role of the Bat. But appropriately enough, their actual words as in opposition to their thoughts, as they discuss how much they don’t want that to happen.

Their vicious treatment is expertly played against a backdrop of saving children, which Simone expertly plays to its full heart-string-tugging potential.

In the end, their final thwart is intruded upon my Nightwing, who reads them the riot act and tosses them out.

Catman: “What we did was right. You can’t tell me otherwise. But I hear that sneer. And I hear that contempt. And I remember why I hate those little dictators.”

Bane: “They define us because we have always allowed them to do so. They are both our motivation and the architects of our descent.”

I respectfully submit that you’ll get no better in-story discussion of comic-book villainy anywhere in print.

In print.
Get Secret Six #9 at mycomicshop.com