Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Courting Disaster, my weekly comic about sex, love, and relationships updates every Friday.
You’ll laugh your pants off. This week’s question…
A reader writes… Q: I have been married for 10 years. My wife is a great woman, fantastic mother, beautiful and caring. I love her dearly, but our sex life has been a struggle ever since we got married. Once we got married it was like a switch turned off and her sex drive nearly went away completely. We are at a point now that I just have to wait/hope she is in the mood. That will happen about twice a month. My real frustration comes whenever I’m in the mood and try to initiate sex. I’ve been coldy rejected so many times that I’m nervous to even try now. Why is this a one-way street? I’ve expressed my feelings about this countless times and we argue around in circles. She recently asked me to trust her to take care of my needs. She says it wouldn’t be right for her to give in and “fake it.” I’m also frustrated there are no other options besides intercourse. We tried going to counseling once and the therapist was terrible. She kept asking us what we should do. We’ve been arguing for 10 years about it! How would we know? I’ve never cheated but I’m so frustrated I’m afraid I may cheat if given the chance. What do I/we do?
Don’t answer here… go on over to the CD site and
offer some advice.
