Chapter 17 | Page 3b: Hot Stuff

Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.

Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.

Transcript

Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…

Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)

Panel 2

Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}

Panel 3

Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.

Panel 4

Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.

Panel 5

Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod

After Dark

This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.

  • Yes, he lives up to his name.

  • Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.

  • No, the North Pole will never be the same.

I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!

Real supervillains don’t use Craigslist


Super Villain Attacks Cincinnati’s Real Life Superhero. Your Move, Shadowhare

[IO9]: When you build a real-life superhero team, you’re only asking for trouble from a real life supervillain. The “Consortium of Evil” has placed a bounty on Shadowhare’s identity. And so it begins.

A nefarious team evil doer, who is located somewhere on the “The Dark Side,” has posted a Craigslist ad with a $10 bounty on the identity of Shadowhare. I wish you luck in the name of all things evil, and for those of us scarred by the great stretch of heroic spandex from the Allegiance of Heroes.

Read more about Cincinatti’s real-life superhero team.

Read Rolling Stone’s piece on the phenomenon of real-life costumed heroes in America.