Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Courting Disaster, my weekly comic about sex, love, and relationships updates every Friday.
You’ll laugh your pants off. This week’s question…
A reader writes… Q: I’m in my early 30s and seeing a girl I went to middle school with. We “went out” in 7th grade, then went to different high schools and didn’t see each other for about 17 years. We ran into each other in a bar in our hometown and sparks flew. Only problem was, she was married (miserably, to a guy almost 20 years older, with kids close to her age from a previous marriage that she can’t stand). I had been living with someone, unhappily, for a few years. After a couple years of e-mails and such we got together and ended up in the sack. It was incredible. She left her husband and I left my girlfriend. We’ve been seeing each other for several months and love each other a lot. But she’s still married and still calls him in her “damsel-in-distress” moments. And she never told him about me. She can’t break her reliance on her “second father,” and it’s killing me. I would do anything for her, but she is still conflicted. She did leave him, so doesn’t that mean something? And I can’t imagine she would go back, as she knows I am better for her than he ever could be. What should I do? Get out so she can’t have her cake and eat it too?
Don’t answer here… go on over to the CD site and
offer some advice.
