Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Courting Disaster, my weekly comic about sex, love, and relationships updates every Friday.
You’ll laugh your pants off. This week’s question…
Since the newspaper column that this comic accompanies spends all of its space discussing answers to previous questions, we’ll turn to another question e-mailed by a reader of the Courting Disaster Web site…
A reader writes… My boyfriend broke up with me last year for no apparent reason after 2 years of dating in a long-distance relationship. I have been miserable ever since. I love him and honestly want to spend the rest of my life with him. I feel like my other half has been ripped away.
I spoke to him after a few months of silence a couple of weeks ago. He said that he has missed me, and that he ended things because “it was starting to feel like a job.”
I asked him if he’d want to give us another chance and he said “I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea, but I dont want to date right now, but maybe in time.”
I want to keep in touch with him so that hopefully, when I go back up in May, his feelings might change. I dont want to smother him, though. I want him to love me again but I’m not sure if my hope is a false hope, or even how to go about things. What should I do?
Don’t answer here… go on over to the CD site and offer some advice.
