Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Courting Disaster, my weekly comic about sex, love, and relationships updates every Friday.
You’ll laugh your pants off. This week’s question…
A reader writes… My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. About six or eight months ago he started changing. Before that, he had a very big sexual appetite, a slight romantic side and showed interest in me. Now, he’s very distant and I am the persuer. I have confronted him about if he’s cheating and he is very defensive and hostile. I’ve seen text messages and found them inappropriate for friends. After the last incident and the denial and bullying, I decided to get checked at the clinic and — surprise — I have “Trich.” I told him and his reaction was, “How did that happen?” Then he claimed he never touched anyone else. I explained that only one of us has the means and opportunity. What is sad in all this it has been four days since the call from the clinic and he has said nothing, not “I’m sorry,” not “We need to talk,” not “You cheated on me.” The days just went by as if nothing happened. I’m not sure how to deal with it, I have never had an STD. I have recieved and taken my medication, but I’m not sure what he has done. If he did not cheat, he would be angry, wouldn’t he? If he did cheat, wouldn’t he ‘fess up?
Don’t answer here… go on over to the CD site and
offer some advice.
