Chapter 17 | Page 2b: The Ol’ Battle Ax

The #GuigarChristmasCountdown Rolls On

Every day until Christmas, I’m releasing a brand-new holiday single-panel gag — and this year’s batch has already included:

  • Overworked elves

  • Malfunctioning snowmen

  • Questionable reindeer behavior

  • And Santas who are absolutely phoning it in

Next week’s cartoons keep the absurdity rolling. If you’re counting down to Christmas with me… buckle up. We’re not even halfway to the weirdest ones. Catch them on BlueskyPatreon chat, or the Evil Inc Subreddit.

TRANSCRIPT

Panel 1 (Later)
Hailey: “Come on, Rose! This is a big opportunity for me! Just tell me what Cap’s ‘usual’ is!”

Panel 2
Rose (from inside the storage closet): “Fine. He loves chicken soup — extra crackers — and a tall lemonade.”

Panel 3
Rose: “Say… do you think you could open the door now? There’s not much air in here.”

Panel 4
Hailey: “If you look in the corner, you’ll see an old battle ax.”

Panel 5
Hailey: “There’s no battle ax in— Oh.”

Panel 6
SFX: KRAKK

Panel 7
Rose (calmly): “Thank you!”

Review: Batman Cacophony #2

There’s been something bothering me about Batman: Cacophony #2 ever since I first read it. The hook is solid, the art is great, and I’m fully invested in the story.

But… well, check out these excerpts from two-and-a-half pages of Alfred and Bruce Wayne in the Batcave.

Alfred: If you ever wanted to triple the Wayne fortune, Master Bruce… All you’d need to do is invest in a suture manufacturer.

Bruce: …Further proof no Leaguer should ever let someone else assume their mantle.
Alfred: I’m sure Jean Paul Valley would be heartbroken to hear you say that, sir.

Bruce: I liberated them from Star City General Hospital shortly after the incident.
Alfred: you most definitely need a hobby, Master Bruce.

Bruce: What do Virago, Buckeye, Green Arrow and I have in common?
Alfred: Minor psychoses and god complexes, sir?.

Here’s the thing: What makes Alfred a stellar character is that he’s from the David Niven school of humor — ultra dry and delivered with a sly smile that never veers into a smirk. This didn’t read so much as David Niven to me. It was more like Henny Youngman.

But I still love this series. Smith had me hooked in Issue One when the Joker dropped trou’ for Onomatopoeia. It takes a bit to make my jaw drop, and this one had me staring and re-reading in disbelief.