A reader writes… Q: I’m in a situation where my heart refuses to obey my mind. Nine years ago, I met this girl, let’s call her “Stacey,” at a convention. In the emails that followed, I was shocked at how much the two of us had in common. Our tastes on everything were both so eccentric yet so similar, it was like we could read each others minds! We quickly became friends… but I fell completely in love.
She’s a sharp girl; she obviously knows I have some amorous feelings (though probably not to what extent), but I’m also certain that she doesn’t see me in that light at all.
Nine years later, we’re still just friends, and I’m still in love. We’ve never been on a date. I have dated plenty of other girls in that time, but Stacey is always in the back of my mind. Try as a might, I don’t think I’ve ever gone a day without thinking about her at least once, and its killing me! I feel ashamed and angry at myself that I can’t just get over this girl. This isn’t normal!
I’ve tried to “fade out,” but eventually she always attempts to re-affirm our friendship and keep me within her reach.
There must be a way for me to cure this obsession. I know it sounds cheesy, but is there a cure for love?
Go over and help this reader out!
Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
