Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
The Week in Villainy: Taking stock of super-villains
Mary Marvel: I stood second to no one —
no one — in my enthusiasm for Mary Marvel’s walk on the wild side. As you remember, I was
one of the first to applaud the black-leather-clad Marvel sis.
But now, in
Final Crisis #3, we see where the path of evil has led Mary. Straight to an anime hairdresser and Frederick’s of Hollywood. (
Click on the image to the right for a two-panel excerpt.)
The sexploitation of Mary Marvel was one thing. For months, we were treated to any possible excuse for drawing her so we could peep up her black, leather skirt. But that was still in line with comic superhero norms, for better or worse.
But this? Shaved head? Pink piggy tails? A lightning-bolt-cutout to accentuate her increased cleavage?
OK… I’ll admit, I’m a
little jealous that I didn’t think of that last one for Lightning Lady.
But still… what made Mary Marvel intriguing as a villain was a good girl thrust into a bad girl’s role. It had such conflict — such possibility.
This. This trampy nemesis has none of that depth. None of that dimension. She’s completely flat.
With or without the lightning-bolt cut-out.
Her VQ rating drops to a 1.
