Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
-
Yes, he lives up to his name.
-
Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
-
No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Courting Disaster, my weekly comic about sex, love, and relationships updates every Friday.
You’ll laugh your pants off. This week’s question…
Two questions, this week…
A reader writes… Q: I am in a situation that I can’t see my way out of. I share an apartment with my high school friend and make barely enough money to pay my half of the rent. We have always gotten along well until recently when it became obvious she was flirting with my boyfriend. I’ve told her to stop, but she denies doing it. It’s mostly subtle things, smiles, dressing provocatively when she knows we’ll be hanging out, sexy remarks, that kind of thing. I mentioned it to him, but he says he’s never really noticed it. When I suggested we spend more time at his apartment, he refused because it’s a dump, which is true. This is really bothering me but I can’t afford to move out and my boyfriend isn’t cooperating. Can you help?
Go on over and
offer some advice.
