Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Taking stock of super-villains
Green Goblin: Stormin’ Norman Osborn has been on a delicious slow burn since the start of the post-Registration Act Thunderbolts. With Warren Ellis taking the helm of the title, Osborn has been handled with tremendous aplomb.
In
Thunderbolts #120, Osborn makes the long-awaited transformation into the Green Goblin. After the last issue, in which Norman single-handedly wiped the floor with former Masters of Evil alumni Tiger Shark, Cyclone and Mister Hyde, I was beginning to wonder if Norman was ever going to don the classic Goblin gear. After he explained his super-strength by mentioning bio-engineering, I was starting to expect some sort of mutation into a new goblinesque creature.
Seeing the latest incarnation of the Green Goblin costume (he refers to it as his “kit” in a wonderfully written passage), I’m very happy that didn’t happen.
I don’t think anyone writes the demented madman Osborn as well as Ellis. The first few pages of #120 are nothing but Norman ranting to himself in a nut-job rage. Click on the thumbnails below to read several of the choicest pages in the intro. Here are a few quotes:
— “Norman Osborn. America’s Last Hero. That’s what I am.”
— “I’m so glad I never washed this particular costume. Smells like death, blondes and victory.”
— “‘So says President Goblin!’ … Actually, that’s a bit more Doctor Doom isn’t it?”
— “Note to self: Give naked dictation more often. The ideas seem to flow more freely.”
— Brad Guigar
(If you have a suggestion for “TWiV,” please e-mail me.)
