Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Courting Disaster, my weekly comic about sex, love, and relationships updates every Friday.
You’ll laugh your pants off. This week’s question…
A reader writes… Q: My fiancee and I are in our late 20s. We have been living together for two years. I love her a lot. She is very intelligent, and I find her very attractive. The problem? Let’s just say that in bed, I have had better. Many of our sessions end without me “finishing.” She had noticed this and asked me if she still excites me. I tried to fix things by fantasizing about other women during sex, but that only worked a few times. Then, things changed on our last visit to her parents. I was blown away by her 18-year-old sister. She was wearing a tramped-out Catholic schoolgirl outfit. I immediately began fantasizing about her. The results were amazing. The last month or so, our sex sessions have been great. My fiancee has noticed the difference. She is now a detective, inquiring about the changes. I don’t know what to tell her. She once commented, when I asked her to dress up certain ways, that she could “just borrow these clothes from her sister instead of buying them.” Does she know something? What do I tell her if she persists? I worry that if I play stupid, she will grow very suspicious that I’m doing something besides having fantasies.
Go on over and
offer some advice.
