Chapter 17 | Page 3b: Hot Stuff

Posted on December 19, 2025 by Brad Guigar

Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.

Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.

Transcript

Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…

Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)

Panel 2

Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}

Panel 3

Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.

Panel 4

Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.

Panel 5

Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod

After Dark

This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.

  • Yes, he lives up to his name.

  • Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.

  • No, the North Pole will never be the same.

I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!

THE BOOKS ARE HERE!

Posted on April 25, 2008 by Brad Guigar
I’m officially a self-publisher!

Thursday, a large truck rumbled down the street with two pallets of books. 500 copies of Evil Inc Annual Report Vol. 2 and 1,500 copies of Evil Inc Annual Report Vol. 3.

Unfortunately, the truck was a bit too large. He wasn’t able to maneuver his truck into the alley down the block and behind my house to get to my garage, where I had planned to store the books.

So, he unloaded both pallets onto the sidewalk in front of my house. Since my wife had the car that day, I didn’t even have a trunk to load the boxes into to drive them around the block to my garage.

So… I set about moving 1,370 pounds of books — one 30-pound box at a time into my house and then down to my basement — where I have a fruit cellar with some very sturdy shelves perfect for the boxes.

I didn’t want to have all the boxes in the living room at the same time, so I carried eight boxes into the house and then carted them down to the basement. Then I would cart eight more boxes in. And then eight more would go downstairs.

That’s ten stairs up to my front door, and then a dozen stairs down to the basement.

It took me about an hour to get all the books into the house and then another hour to get the shelves cleaned off and the boxes stacked neatly inside.

But the important thing is that they’re here.

And they look awesome. I’m so excited to get these out to you guys. And I’ll definitely have a supply on hand in Seattle for Emerald City Comic Con.

I will be packaging orders this weekend, and doing Artist Edition sketches in the evenings. I’ll be sure to post my progress here and in my Twitter feed.

Meanwhile, thank you to the many people who preordered their books. I wouldn’t have been able to pay for that print run otherwise. I’m very much overwhelmed by the response.

If you haven’t ordered yours yet, take another look at the photos of the fruit cellar above. I’m planning a Phables book, I should print about 500 copies of Vol. 1, and I’ll likely have Vol. 4 before the end of the year.

One thing’s for sure: Canning is definitely out this year.

I need to make some room. Get yours now.