Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Courting Disaster, my weekly comic about sex, love, and relationships updates every Friday.
You’ll laugh your pants off. This week’s question…
A reader writes… Q: My friend likes to play tennis, and he’s good at it. A couple times a month, he plays with a female co-worker about his age who’s at his skill level. His wife is taking extreme issue with this. It’s not that he doesn’t want to play tennis with his wife, it’s just that he likes the better “competition” he gets when playing with the co-worker since his wife isn’t a good tennis player. The relationship between the friend and co-worker is completely platonic. I’ve always known this guy to be honest and honorable. His wife is insisting that he either find someone else to play with (none of his other friends play tennis), or to stop the activity entirely. She thinks you just shouldn’t do “stuff like that” alone with a member of the opposite sex. Concerns about cheating have never been an issue before. Is the wife being reasonable? Or should my friend stand up for himself and tell her to get over her jealousy?
Go on over and
offer some advice.
