Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
Courting Disaster, my weekly comic about sex, love, and relationships updates every Friday.
You’ll laugh your pants off.This week’s question:
Q: My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. She spent much of that year abroad in France while I finished up school. We both hooked up with other people during that time but we were always open and honest about it. The only thing is that she "fell" for a French guy while over there. (How stereotypical is that?) She’s been home for a few months now and our relationship has been bipolar — one day she tells me she loves me and could see herself spending the rest of her life with me, the other she’s miles away. It’s been hard to deal with this but I have been very patient with her because I love her and am committed to "us." We’re both young and dumb and dealing with emotions that are bigger then us, but how much is too much? The French guy just came for a week’s visit . . . I am not sure what their status is, but I will see her when he leaves. I think it’s impossible to leave some one that I love, but I am finally going to give her the ultimatum, me or him. Good move?
Go on over and offer some advice.
