Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
I gotta tell you, I’m just not feeling the new run of Suicide Squad. I’ve been through the first two issues, and I’m completely lukewarm. There’s a couple reasons. For starters, I’m getting thisclose to being over Amanda “The Wall” Waller. Really. She’s a great character, but she’s pretty much reached her stauration level in the DC universe.
And dialogue like “I’m fat, black, cranky, and menopausal! You do not want to mess with me!” doesn’t help. And neither do exchanges like:
“Payback’s a bitch.”
“That’s right. And I’m just the bitch to do it!”
Guh.
Also, I guess I got spoiled by Gail Simone’s work on
Villians United. That was the pinnacle series of super-villain team-up. And you know why — besides a very tight, little plot?
Gail took campy villains like Mad Hatter and made them A-list baddies. That’s what a villain team-up is all about. You don’t necessarily want Lex and the Joker (although I have to admit, I’m much more excited about the Injustice Society in the current JLA run these days). What you want is Cat Man, Deadshot, Venom, Ragdoll and a Paradaemon! You want a band of losers, griping their way through a take-charge plot.
So why don’t I like Modok’s 11?
I’ll get back to you on that.
